


Serendipity

by LoKandGoT



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Feels, Fluff, Mild Gore, Mild Language, Swearing, basically a nicholas sparks book
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-12 09:45:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5661790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoKandGoT/pseuds/LoKandGoT
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm not a good person, Clarke. I'm a screw up. A fuck up. And everyone I get close to gets hurt. I'm not going to let that happen to you. It's better if you just stay away from me."</p><p>Clarke took a step towards her, "You do not get to tell me what to do, Lexa," she yelled, thrusting an accusatory finger into her chest. "I don't care if you've fucked things up. I don't care if you've hurt people in the past. I am not letting you slip away from me this time."</p><p>or</p><p> the one where fate pushes two people from two completely different worlds together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A chance meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I've been watching a lot of Romantic movies lately. Like a whole lot of Nicholas Sparks... and this is basically the outcome of that lol. I hope you guys like this. I've got a whole idea planned out of how I want this to go and to be honest its gonna be super angsty. 
> 
> Let me know what y'all think of it. I really value what you have to say, so let me hear it!

**Clarke:**

It was cold. Insufferably so. And it wasn’t like an ‘oh it’s cold outside’ cold; it was a you go outside and your snot freezes to your face cold. It was terrible. And Clarke hated it. She pulled her wool coat tighter around her body as a gust of wind tore down the street, causing a shiver to shake throughout her whole body.

“Shit,” she groaned as the air seeped deeper into her bones. She really needed a better coat. This one just wasn’t cutting it, no matter how expensive it was.

She glanced at the traffic, spotting a break in the sea of yellow cabs, before jogging into the oncoming traffic and earning a few honks- because it’s New York and everyone honks, even if there isn’t a need for it.

She let out a sigh of relief as the space heaters at the doors of Bloomingdales provided temporary relief from the freezing temperatures. She pushed the door open and was instantly assaulted by the ten thousand different perfumes that the sales reps were trying to sell. She quickly dodged a woman- who was looking at her like she was her next meal- desperately trying to mist some sort of designer perfume onto her.

Clarke usually loved the Christmas season, but damn, sometimes she wondered if it was really worth it. She really liked her sense of smell and honestly she was slightly concerned that all these conflicting scents would really screw up her nose.

But as she made her way further into the store, she heard fewer and fewer people calling out to her to try their new product and soon she was left in the relatively, but not actually, peaceful clothes department.

Hundreds of shoppers were pushing their ways through the crowds desperately searching for that last minute Christmas gift. And Clarke was ashamed that she was ‘that person’, finishing her Christmas list two days before the big day.

She had just finished nudging her way past an adorably, yet annoyingly slow, elderly couple when she finally spotted the gloves she had been looking for. Octavia had stolen hers the day prior and while she could just get these gloves for Octavia for Christmas, she really just wanted to treat herself to something nice. They were Dolce after all.

There was exactly one black pair left and as she was reaching for them, a slender hand grabbed the same pair she herself had just snatched.

Clarke glanced over at the owner of the hand. Her expression was halfway between pissed off and annoyed and Clarke was more than slightly intimidated at her harsh expression. But it immediately softened when their eyes connected.

An involuntary gasp left Clarke. Damn. She had stunning eyes. Enchanting eyes. Flakes of gold sparkled in the dark green pools surrounding her pupils. And despite the still slightly stony expression on her face, her eyes seemed to express her every emotion.

It wasn’t until she noticed her mouth moving that Clarke realized she was talking to her.

She shook her head, “What?”

The girl hesitated for a moment her grip slacking on the gloves still held between them, “Were you going to buy these?”

Clarke nodded and finally took in the full picture before her. Untamed brunette locks were haphazardly pulled back by a series of intricate braids. Her lips were soft and seemed to be glued in a frown. But her eyes were soft and studying Clarke.

Immediately, Clarke felt self-conscious. This girl seemed so out of place in this store. Torn black skinny jeans, scuffed black combat boots, a red and black checkered flannel tossed over an old Ramones shirt, a black scarf flung messily over her neck, and a very worn leather jacket- clearly passed down several generations. And Clarke couldn’t help herself from feeling guilty for wearing her designer jeans and cashmere turtleneck. Clarke fit in with the rest of the crowd, but standing next to this girl she felt more out of place than she ever had in her whole life.

“Yeah. Sorry I was hoping to buy these,” she murmured, her eyes still locked with the girls.

The brunette finally released the gloves and they flopped lamely in Clarke’s hands, “Oh. Well, I’ll just have to find another pair.”

“What? N-No, you have them,” she stuttered, thrusting the gloves toward the girl, “I insist.”

She shook her head, “No it’s alright.”

Clarke chuckled slightly before placing them back on the rack, “There. Now I’m not in the picture anymore and you can take them.”

“Perfect. The last pair,” a balding and slightly portly man exclaimed as he pushed between them and grabbed the gloves.

“Wait, woah,” Clarke gasped as she reached for the gloves in his hands, “Sorry we were buying those.”

He looked at her, clearly unamused, “We?”

“Um,” she glanced over at the girl and gestured between them, “Yes, um, we were.”

He stared at her briefly, “Are you two together or something?”

“Well technically, no,” she gulped, “Not yet anyways.”

The brunette eyed her critically, before the smallest of smirks fell on her lips, “Yes. You see after the procedure, we were planning on getting together. And these gloves were to be, um,” she hesitated.

“A sign of our undying love for each other,” Clarke finished.       

“Right, well you two need to sort out your priorities,” he said before shoving the gloves back at Clarke and stomping away.

Clarke turned back to the brunette, “The procedure?” she asked, a smile crossing her face.

“A sign of our undying love for each other?” she countered.

Clarke threw her head back and laughed. She knew a few people were giving her a couple of questioning looks, but honestly she didn’t really care. This girl was so… enticing, she really didn’t care about anything else.

The girl cleared her throat, “Well, um, I guess I’ll go look for other gloves” she gave a tentative wave before turning around, her boots squeaking slightly on the tiled floor.

“W-Wait,” Clarke yelled before reaching out and grabbing her sleeve, the girl stopped and turned around again, her gaze settling on Clarke’s hand- which was still desperately attached to her arm. Clarke immediately snatched it back and could feel her cheeks flushing red, but she powered through, “At least let me buy you a coffee or something.”

The brunette looked at her like she was crazy. Clarke raised the gloves up, “For letting me have the gloves, I mean,” she clarified.

She made an ‘O’ with her mouth before quirking her lips to the side and pondering Clarke’s offer. She looked like she was going to reject before she nodded her head jerkily.

Clarke beamed, “Great! I know this great little shop just down the road,” she jerked her thumb over her shoulder.

* * *

Clarke pointed to the sign as they approached, “Serendipity. The greatest coffee shop on the face of the planet.” It was quaint little shop, well really it was a hole in the wall, but they had fantastic food and their coffee was even better.

“That’s a bold statement,” the girl commented, Clarke merely giggled at her words.

They were seated quickly, near the back corner and it was a far more romantic setting than Clarke was intending, but strangely she didn’t really care. There was just something about this girl.

They sat across from each other and Clarke just watched her for a moment before reaching across the table and offering her hand, “I’m Clarke by the way.”

The girl glanced at her hand before taking it. Her grip was strong, but not overly so, and Clarke couldn’t help but notice the bruises that were scattered across her knuckles, “Nice to meet you, Clarke.”

Clarke smiled, releasing her hand, “So I know this is a coffee shop and we are in the middle of December, but you’ve got to try their gelato. It’s like being in Italy.”

“Well, alright,” she smiled back, and honestly, the sight made Clarke’s heart stutter. Her smile was so bright and sincere, but it was gone so quick and Clarke knew not many people were able to see such an exquisite sight.

The waiter appeared a moment later, “Alright, ladies what will it be?”

“Two of the chocolate gelato please,” Clarke answered, her eyes never straying from the entrancing ones sitting across from her.

“Anything else?” he asked. Clarke shook her head, “Okay, that will be out shortly,” he stated before leaving the table.

“So I’ve got to ask,” the girl began, “Why is this place your favorite? It doesn’t really seem your type of shop.”  

Clarke hummed, “Well, besides the coffee,” she smiled, “I love the name of the shop. That’s what brought me in here in the first place, to be honest.”

The girl quirked her brow and Clarke continued, “Serendipity. It’s my favorite word.”

Her eyes narrowed and Clarke smiled again, clearly this girl wasn’t much of a talker, “It’s such a nice sounding word for what it means: a fortunate accident,” her brows furrowed, “except I don’t really believe in accidents. I think everything happens for a reason.”

“Oh, you do?” the girl asks, almost mockingly.

“Yeah.”

“Fates behind everything?” she asked.

“Mmm,” Clarke agreed.

“Fate is behind everything, we don’t have any choice at all?”

“No, I,” Clarke fumbled for the words, “I think we make our own decisions, it’s just fate that sends us little signs and it’s us reading those signs that make us happy or not.”

“Lucky signals. Fortunate accidents. Like Columbus in America,” her lip quirked slightly, an almost smile.

“Yeah,” Clarke agreed happily, “or Fleming discovering…”   

“Penicillin,” the girl finished.

“Exactly.”

“How interesting,” she said and once again their eyes locked.

It was so strange to Clarke how instantly attracted she was to this girl. It wasn’t just her looks, because yea she was damn hot, it was something more. She was just so mysterious, filled with so few words, yet she seemed to express everything that she needed to with just a twist of a brow or a squint of her eye, the wrinkle of her nose. It was entrancing to Clarke and she desperately wanted to find out more about this girl.

But the brunette broke their trance when she cleared her throat and scooped up a bit of her gelato. Honestly, Clarke didn’t even know when that got there.

They talked for about an hour more, well it was really Clarke who did the talking, the girl just seemed to be intent on listening to whatever Clarke was rambling on about. But eventually they both realized how late it was getting, when Clarke glanced at her wrist watch.

“I should probably be heading out,” the girl said.

“Me too,” Clarke sighed, “But, hey, it was really nice getting to know you…”

The girl smiled at Clarke’s sudden silence and furrowed brow.

“Wait, I don’t know your name.”

Her smile grew even more, “It was nice to meet you, Clarke. Thanks for the gelato,” she gave another wave before heading out the door.

“Wait!” Clarke yelled, “Can’t I know your name?”

She smirked slightly, before pushing out the door, “Goodbye, Clarke.”

* * *

Clarke was halfway to the parking structure when she realized that she had left the gloves back at Serendipity.

“Shit,” she grumbled as she trudged back to the coffee shop.

She was just picking up the bag when she noticed a scarf laying on the back of the chair across from her. Slowly, Clarke picked it up.

“Well, it looks like we both forgot something.”

Clarke turned around and there she was. She couldn’t help it when a smile crept onto her face. “Do you want to do something?” Clarke asked, handing the scarf over. The question was so random and she was sure the girl was going to say no but the brunette looked at her for a moment before nodding her head, “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know,” Clarke stumbled, she hadn’t thought it would get this far.

A slight smile popped up on the girl’s face, “I know just the place.”

Clarke followed her out of the restaurant and they walked for about five minutes before the girl stopped in front of the local ice skate rink.

“Gotta say. Not really where I pegged your hang out to be,” Clarke nudged her with her elbow, a small smile on her lips.

The girl chuckled quietly, before walking over to the rentals.

She was so graceful on the skates. Gliding on the ice like she was born with the ability. She almost looked like she was flying. Clarke couldn’t help her jaw from dropping when the girl twisted into the perfect twirl and quickly spun for a few seconds. An instant pang of inadequacy flooded Clarke. This girl was so full of mysteries and Clarke felt like she was so boring. So nothing. Like she had nothing to offer this girl. This stranger.

But the second she slid out of her twirl the girl faced Clarke, “Favorite movie?”

Clarke laughed, she really was full of surprises, “ _Dances with Wolves_.”

“Hmm, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that one.”

“What?” Clarke gasped and skidded to a stop, almost making the girl crash into her back.

“I don’t watch a lot of movies,” she shrugged.

A scoff left Clarke before she could stop it, “You really need to sort out your priorities.”

The girl let out a loud chuckle before she gracefully skated past Clarke.

It continued on like this for a while more. Easy conversation, gentle laughs, and wandering eyes.

But after some time the girl skated closer to Clarke and whispered, “I have to go, Clarke.”

Her eyes were glowing in the moonlight and Clarke could have sworn she saw regret deep within those enchanting green pools.

Clarke nodded, but said nothing more as she watched the brunette skate towards the exit. The skating rink now completely empty save for the last few stragglers.

“Will I ever see you again?” she yelled out, just before the girl was out of ear shot.

She turned around, skating slowly backwards with ease, “Maybe if fate is sending the right signs,” she says wistfully.

A small smile graces her lips, and Clarke can’t help it when her heart splutters in her chest.

“Lexa.”

Clarke scrunches her brow at her and skates a little closer to hear her better.

“My name,” the girl clarifies, “It’s Lexa.”

Clarke smiles, “It was nice to meet you, Lexa.”


	2. A Painter's Perspective

**Lexa:**

Lexa was exhausted. It had probably been the most exhausting week of her life. Double shifts at Indra’s diner and over time at Gustus’s body shop were bad enough, but getting poked and prodded with needles for three days straight really took its toll on her. But, honestly, she wasn’t really complaining because even if her arms felt like concrete had been poured into her muscles, the medical research tests got her a quick two thousand bucks and she really, really needed that money.

Today was the last day of testing and her arms looked like she had been shooting coke for years and her legs were all red and blotchy from some weird reaction she had to the medicine. It sucked. But she was _finally_ done and it was a Friday, so she honestly couldn’t give two flying shits that she felt like she was going to collapse at any moment because she was two thousand dollars richer and about a ten minute walk from what was going to be the best night of sleep in her life.

Her feet were practically dragging when she got into the elevator. She had to squint at the harsh fluorescent lights that were practically assaulting her retinas and it made it nearly impossible to see the button numbers, so she just pressed a random one and hoped for the lobby. Today really sucked.

The elevator jerked to life and she was slowly descending when she finally noticed her reflection in the mirror lining the back of the steeled contraption. Dark circles were under her eyes and her hair looked like a rats nest. That’s what she gets for not sleeping for two days straight. Not to mention she had spilled some gross goopy liquid on her shirt just as she was leaving the diner and it had left a greasy stain covering half the shirt. She looked homeless. And she was really surprised the security guard hadn’t escorted her out of the building the minute she stepped inside.

A loud bing bounced around the elevator as it jumped to a stop and the golden doors opened up. Blindly, Lexa stumbled out. The sunlight shining through the massive bay windows made it hard to see, but being that she was looking over the tops of several buildings notified her that she was not on the ground floor. Looking back at the elevator she saw a small sign with blocky lettering. 23rd floor.

“Fan-fucking-tastic,” she grumbled.

She had just pressed the button when a voice sounded behind her.

“Well, what a fortunate stroke of serendipity,” a quiet laugh followed the words, “I guess fate was sending us the right signs.”

Lexa turned around. Clarke was smiling brightly at her. God, she was beautiful. Her gorgeous blue eyes gleaming in the afternoon sunlight. Golden locks falling in luscious waves around her shoulders and the most delicious scent wafted off of her. It was a mix of cinnamon bark, orange blossom flowers, and something that Lexa couldn’t quite place her finger on. But whatever it was it was absolutely intoxicating and she was immediately transported to a world of velvety, wine-stained, mirrored, and rose-filled corridors. And for the first time in a very, very long time Lexa’s heart sputtered in her chest.

She had thought about Clarke non-stop in the days following their chance meeting. She just couldn’t get her out of her head, no matter how hard she tried. It was ridiculous, really. Lexa had known Clarke for less than a few hours. But their connection made it seem like they had known each other for a lifetime. And it seemed that Clarke was like a disease bound to destroy Lexa, but if it meant feeling… _content_ with her life again, Lexa would gladly suffer the slow and painful death that would surely follow letting her heart care for someone again.

“I guess it was,” Lexa whispered.

Clarke’s smile only grew at her words and she stepped towards her, “It’s really good to see you,” she stared intently at Lexa’s face, her cheeks tinting a pale pink, “I was really regretting not getting your number the other day. I-I had a really fantastic time.”

Lexa could feel a small smile crossing her lips, “Me too,” she scratched the back of her neck awkwardly, before adding quietly, “I don’t think I want to leave meeting you up to fate anymore.”

She wasn’t sure where the words came from, but she could feel the blush rising up the back of her neck and painting her cheeks and the tips of her ears.

Clarke giggled again and it was probably the cutest sound that Lexa had ever heard.

“What, um, what are you doing here?” Lexa asked, suddenly very aware of the way her heart was beating in her chest.

Clarke looked down at herself and then gestured to her outfit, “Well, I mean I normally don’t wear this beautiful get up every day, but, um, on the occasion I like to get dressed up,” she looked back at Lexa, her eyes twinkling in a youthful mirth.

“Right,” Lexa chuckled, “I guess the scrubs and the fact that I’m at a doctor’s office really should have tipped me off.”

Immediately, she felt extremely self-conscious. Lexa was by no means wealthy. In fact she was barely scraping by. She couldn’t even remember the last time she went out shopping for her own personal pleasure. In fact she was pretty sure that everything in her closet was at least six or seven years old. And here Clarke was, dressed in pale blue scrubs that only made her eyes pop even more. Obviously, well-educated and on a path to success and wealth.

Lexa was just a street urchin compared to the goddess that was Clarke.

Clarke just laughed again, “What about you? What brings you to Griffin and Kane, MD?”

“Oh, um, I had a doctor’s appointment,” she said, hoping that Clarke wouldn’t see right through her blatant lie.

“Oh really?” she asked her brow quirking up in question, “Do you see my mom or Dr. Kane?”

Lexa gulped. Her mom? If Clarke’s mother owned this practice, then fuck Lexa was really screwed. She could only hope Clarke wouldn’t look into their records.

“Dr. Kane. Just a routine checkup.”

“Ah, yes, well I hope all is well,” she said genuinely her face morphing into a relaxed smile.

“Yup, yeah, uh, healthy as a horse,” Lexa said nervously.

“Well, I’m heading down. I’m done with my appointments for the day. Do you want to share an elevator,” she asked.

Lexa nodded, probably too eagerly, but she was just glad Clarke wasn’t asking anymore questions as to why Lexa was at the office. She honestly didn’t think she would be able to stand the embarrassment if Clarke found out that she was just there to get the quick cash. And she was more than glad that Clarke hadn’t pointed out the stain covering Lexa’s shirt.

It was silent in the elevator for a while before Lexa spoke, “So are you a doctor here? Do you work for your mom?”

Clarke looked over at her, “Yup! I was a resident at Ark Hospital downtown and after I completed that my mom offered me a job at her practice.”

“Wow. That’s pretty awesome. I’ve always been in awe of people who can survive the school work that it takes to be a doctor.”

Clarke beamed, “I’m not gonna lie, it was really tough, but I’m glad I stuck it out. It’s been really worth it.”

“I bet,” Lexa agreed.

It was silent for a moment before Clarke spoke again. Her words were rushed and once again her face was dusted in the faintest blush, “So I know I don’t know you super well, and I mean this in the least creepy way possible, but would you, maybe, want to come over to my place tonight?” Her blush only increased as Lexa’s head snapped toward her, “I mean, I don’t have any plans tonight and I figured we could maybe hang out again?” she asked, her voice lilting hopefully.

Lexa had not been expecting that. She figured it would be a onetime thing, but there was no way in hell she was going to turn down Clarke’s offer. Exhaustion be damned.

She smiled slightly, “Yea. Yea I’d like that a lot.”

The elevator binged and they both stepped out. Clarke was positively glowing. She ruffled through her purse for a moment before pulling out a black sharpie and grabbing Lexa’s hand, “Here is my address. Just stop by any time after 7.” She released Lexa’s hand and the brunette could have sworn that her hand had caught on fire. The moment her skin was touching Clarke’s it felt like a jolt of electricity had shot through her. She hadn’t felt that kind of connection with someone in a really, really long time. It scared her. It absolutely _fucking_ terrified her. But she was ready. She was really ready to let her walls down. To let herself be happy again. It had been far to long.

“I’ll be there,” she said simply and that seemed to be enough because if it was possible Clarke seemed to glow even more at her words, before she gave a quick wave and left the building- leaving Lexa awestruck and staring dumbly after the blonde in the lobby.

* * *

By the time 6:30 had rolled around Lexa was positively hyper-ventilating.

Was this a date? Was she going on a date? Or was this a hang out? Did Clarke mean this to be a date or did she simply want to hang out? Did Clarke even like girls? That would be a really important thing to find out before Lexa let her heart fall too far for this girl.

She was pacing around her living room (well really it was her living room/ bedroom/ kitchen because she lived in a really crappy studio loft), a cramped and dingy space, when she looked down at her hand, for about the thousandth time. Clarke’s loopy handwriting was still completely visible on her palm, despite how much it was sweating.

“Okay, Lexa. You can do this. You can do this,” she tried to pep herself up, “You are just hanging out with Clarke, it’s nothing serious. Okay?” She shook out her body before glancing in her cracked body length mirror that hung on the back of her front door. She opted for a simple outfit nothing too fancy and nothing too casual. Just her skinny jeans, her favorite pair of high top Chucks, a cream flannel with dark gray stripes with a light gray jacket underneath, and a pale beanie. It was comfortable yet chic. She blew a burst of air through her lips before grabbing her apartment keys and heading out the door.

Lexa was far too broke for her own car, she could barely afford to live in her shitty apartment after all, so she usually took the trains or her bike. It was freezing outside, but it was a clear night, so Lexa opted for her bike this time. It was an old, grimy, discolored road bike, with a cracked leather seat, but it was her baby and she loved the stupid thing.

It took her a little while to find Clarke’s building. She was never usually on this side of town and the more she rode around the more she felt out of place among the Cadillacs and BMWs. But finally she stopped in front of a massive brick building. She locked her bike up out front and as she jogged up the stairs she was greeted by a smiling doorman.

“Can I help you, ma’am?”

Lexa gapped. She had never been called ma’am before. Never. In her entire life.

“Um, yea, I’m meeting a friend at her apartment.”

“Yes of course,” he said before opening the door.

Lexa walking inside and her jaw dropped, the lobby was huge. There was someone sitting at the front desk behind a granite countertop, a faint smile on their face as they watched Lexa. Lexa’s shoes squeaked quietly as she walked toward the elevator. She glanced down at her hand, Clarke was on the fifteenth floor. But her eyes drifted past her hand and down at her slightly tearing shoes. They were a stark contrast of dirt and grime compared to the pristine white marble that covered the floors. She could feel the heat creeping up the back of her neck. She really didn’t belong here.

She rushed toward the elevator and pressed the button marked with a fifteen. The elevator was fast and soon Lexa found herself standing outside Clarke’s door. She could hear the faint thump of music in the background and rather loud singing. Her hand was curled into a fist, hovering before the door, just waiting for her to knock.

An immediate pang of doubt rushed through her. Why was she doing this? Why was she even here? She clearly didn’t belong here and pretending otherwise was exceedingly unwise.

But Lexa was knocking before she even realized what she was doing.

The music quieted a little and Lexa could hear someone coming to the door. Her hands were sweating so badly she was sure that if she tried to grab anything it would just slip through her hands. And her heart felt like it was in her throat. Why the _fuck_ was she here? This wasn’t going to end well for her. She was about to relent to her nerves and leave when the door popped open.

“Lexa?”

The brunette spun around. Clarke was standing in the doorway, a bright smile gracing her lips. She had on a pair of large, thick, black framed glasses, a pair of track shorts, and a simple white tank top that was covered in paint. Her hair was tossed up into a messy bun on the top of her head. Lexa felt really out of place. Now she felt overdressed.

Clarke’s glasses slipped down her face slightly and she pushed them up on her nose better, but in the process she smeared blue paint across her cheek.

“Come on in, you are just in time!”

Lexa furrowed her brow curiously before following Clarke into her apartment. It was a huge space. A loft style like Lexa’s but almost ten times as big. It had a fancy kitchen and giant leather couches and bay windows that stretched across the entire back wall. Not to mention there were row upon row of books pouring out of a large bookshelf near the flat screen TV. But the walls were completely blank save for a few splotches of blue, red, and green on a pillar in the middle of the room. It struck Lexa as odd because the lack of color just really didn’t suite Clarke’s personality at all.

Lexa took the space in, but when she looked back at Clarke the blonde was staring back at her, her eye soft and inviting.

She wrung her hands slightly, “It’s not quite finished yet. I’ve only just picked out the color today.” She motioned her hand toward the pillar, “I decided to go with the blue. It just felt… I don’t know _alive_ , I guess.”

Lexa smiled at her, it was adorable how nervous she was at showing Lexa her apartment, “I love the blue.”

Clarke smiled brightly and once again red flashed on her cheeks. She walked over to the pillar and picked up a can of paint, “Well, I hope you’re ready, because there is no better bonding than painting an apartment together,” she laughed and Lexa couldn’t help but join because it was all so ridiculous. This girl was clearly wealthy and they could have been doing anything, but Clarke wanted to paint a room with her. It was so normal. And it made Lexa’s heart swell with even more affection.

“I’ve never been much of a painter,” she said, “In fact I think I may have failed art class in high school.”

Clarke laughed at that, “Well it’s a good thing that I’m here then.”

She handed Lexa a roller before briefly explaining how less paint on the roller was better and how even strokes were key. Lexa dutifully followed her over to the wall and together the two began tackling the massive paint overhaul.

About halfway through Lexa couldn’t help but look over at Clarke. The blonde was swaying slightly to the beat of some upbeat pop song, her tongue poking out of her lips, her brow furrowed as she carefully added a coat of paint near the ceiling.

Lexa cleared her throat slightly and Clarke jolted before looking down at Lexa.

“You know you’ve got a little paint,” she motioned to her own cheek, “right here.”

Clarke’s lips quirked into a slight smile and she climbed down the ladder, placing her brush on one of the steps on her way down.

She stepped closer to Lexa, “Could you get it?”

Lexa smirked slightly before taking her brush and swiping it across Clarke’s face, coating her glasses and forehead in blue. The blonde gasped loudly, took her glasses off, and looked at Lexa in shock, her blue eyes bursting with excitement, “You did not just do that.”

“Oh I just did,” Lexa laughed.

Suddenly, Clarke’s hand was against her face and Lexa could feel the sticky paint dripping down her face. Lexa swiped at Clarke again, but the blonde jumped out of the way with a shout of glee. She ran towards the pillar and picked up a brush covered in green paint. She lunged at Lexa and suddenly the two were engaged in a paint war. Neither caring about the mess that they were making.

Their shouts of shock and laughter filled the space, over powering the music and Lexa couldn’t think of time she had been this happy in such a long, long time. Clarke had burst into Lexa’s life like a ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds on a rainy day and provided a light in the darkness that had surrounded Lexa for so long. And it was like a breath of relief when Clarke was near. It just felt right.

Gradually, their laughter died down when they started running out of paint and Clarke set her paintbrush down, “Alright. I think it’s time we got cleaned up,” she said, gesturing to her now blue tank top. She went into her bedroom, grabbed an extra pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and gave it to Lexa before pointing her to the bathroom so she could wash some of the paint off. When the brunette returned a few minutes later, a now paintless Clarke, was in the kitchen heating up a kettle. Her glasses were perched on the top of her head and she squinted slightly to get a clearer view of Lexa.

“Want some tea?” she asked.

Lexa hummed in response and sat down on the couch. After a few minutes Clarke plopped down next to her and handed her a cup. Her bulky glasses slipped down her face and landed low on her nose. She scrunched her face a bit to push them further up and Lexa couldn't help but chuckle at how cute Clarke looked with her nose all squished up. 

“Thank you, for all of this,” Lexa said, gesturing around her, and Clarke looked at her curiously. Lexa swallowed nervously before continuing, “I just mean… I haven’t had this much fun in a really long time and it was nice to just…”

“Relax,” Clarke finished and Lexa nodded.

Clarke smiled slightly and looked down at her cup, the steam fogging up her glasses and Lexa couldn’t help but laugh. She reached out and pulled the glasses from her face, “Here let me.” She carefully wiped the lenses against her shirt and attempted to defog them.

When she looked back up, Clarke was smiling faintly, her eyes trained on Lexa’s face.

“What?”

Clarke giggled, “You’ve got a little,” she licked her thumb and then swiped it against Lexa’s cheek.

“Oh,” Lexa flushed red, “Thanks.”

They stared at each other for a moment longer, lost in the silence, when Clarke spoke up, “Want to watch a movie.”

Lexa nodded. Clarke picked out _Dances with Wolves_  and Lexa couldn’t help but smile. Of course this was the movie she picked.

They were about half way into the movie when Clarke scooted closer and rested her head on Lexa’s shoulder. And that about made Lexa's heart stop dead. But it was nearing the end when the blonde's breathing slowed and evened out, her whole body relaxing against Lexa. And now the brunette was certain she was no longer among the living.

She took a minute to just take in Clarke's face, so peaceful in her deep slumber. And if it was possible, even more beautiful. Lexa's fingers tickled with the urge to tuck a piece of hair that was splayed across the blonde's face. But she resisted and instead ever so carefully, Lexa laid her down on the couch and covered her up with a blanket. She searched through the drawers in the kitchen and quickly scribbled a note to Clarke before closing the front door behind her with a silent click.       

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO. MUCH. FLUFF.  
> yea that's not gonna last long, but it was nice while it lasted, right?
> 
> Let me know what y'all thought of this chapter. It was quite a bit longer than the first one, but hopefully it was worth it?


	3. Stitches and Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to Lorde's album when I wrote this and for some reason White Teeth Teens just felt like a good night drive song. But I would also recommend listening to A World Alone, especially for the last little bit. Might make for a nice little reading companion.

** Clarke: **

It had been exactly four days since Clarke had last seen Lexa. And she really missed her. She missed her soft expressions and shy mannerisms. She missed how Lexa would be quiet and calculating one minute, but so open and energetic the next. And it all scared Clarke so much because she had only known the brunette a total of fifteen days. They had actually hung out less than twelve hours and Clarke found herself thinking about Lexa every free minute that she had.

It scared her so fucking much.

She hardly knew Lexa, yet her heart would thump loudly in her chest whenever she thought about their time together. It was all so new to her. She had never felt like this about anyone before in her entire life. Not even her ex-boyfriend whom she dated for two years made her feel this way.

And that scared her even more.

But today was a new day and Clarke was determined to get Lexa out of her head. She walked over to her coffee table and picked up her car keys. Slightly tucked underneath her key bowl was a small piece of paper with messy scrawl on it.

Clarke picked up the paper for about the hundredth time and read the note:

 

            _Clarke,_

_Dunbar ends up with Stands with a Fist._

_~Lexa_

 

It was probably the shortest note Clarke had ever received, but it made her smile. It wasn’t the simplicity of it or the words themselves because _of course_ Clarke knew who Dunbar had ended up with- she had seen the movie at least a dozen times. No. It was the fact that Lexa stayed and watched the movie to the very end, even after Clarke had fallen asleep. And that made the butterflies fluttering in her stomach all the more excited.

The blonde smiled faintly after reading the note again and set it back down on her table. Lexa hadn’t put her number on the note and Clarke wasn’t sure what to make of that. She really hoped that she hadn’t screwed up somehow and made Lexa not want to talk to her again. Because that would really suck. Especially since Lexa said that she didn’t want to leave their meetings up to fate anymore. Maybe she was just saying that to get rid of Clarke. Or maybe she wanted Clarke to give Lexa her number.

Honestly, Clarke was really beginning to read into this too much. She sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. This was supposed to be her ‘not think about Lexa day’ and she was already failing at that. Quickly, she put on her shoes and headed toward the parking structure where her car was. It was late in the day Sunday and that meant it was time for a scenic drive. Clarke never had a destination in mind, she usually just drove until her mind was clear and more often than not she found herself driving through the hills. There’s a beautiful ridge that overlooks the city and Clarke knew she was most likely going to end up there. But it was always an adventure and she loved the tradition.

About thirty minutes into the drive she heard a loud pop and her low tire pressure light turned on.

“Shit,” she quickly pulled over, grabbed her phone, and jumped out of her car. She had to wander a bit to find some reliable service to get the internet up and running, but soon enough she found that Gustus’s Garage was only a few miles down the road. She hopped back in her car, which dinged unhappily at her when she started driving again, and soon enough she found the small gravel road leading to the garage. It was a little shack, a little dingy, a little run down but it looked reliable none the less and Clarke wasn’t one to judge based on appearances.

It was just a little after six so she hoped that they were still open and if the open bay doors were any indication she was in luck. She parked her car and stepped out, not bothering to lock it. She made her way over to one of the bay doors. There was a massive boat of a car jacked up slightly and a pair of legs sticking out from under the bumper. Carefully, she knocked on the garage door’s aluminum track but the worker didn’t move, so Clarke cleared her throat. Still there was no answer.

Clarke stepped into the bay and lightly tapped the worker’s boots with her foot. There was a loud bang as the mechanic jerked to life and a flurry of colorful curse words before the body started to move out from underneath the car.

A very familiar face appeared and Clarke almost laughed from the irony.

Lexa sat up quickly, one hand covering what Clarke could see as a very large bump on her forehead, the other pulling her headphones out of her ears.

Immediately Clarke was at her side, her doctor side bursting to life at the sight of Lexa’s grimacing face. She carefully removed Lexa’s hand and noticed the slick blood already coating her fingers. The lump was about the size of a grapefruit with a fairly sizeable gash in the middle.

“Shit,” she nibbled her lower lip between her teeth, “You’re gonna need stitches for this.”

Lexa opened her mouth to protest, but Clarke shushed her, “I’ve got a kit in the back of my car. It’ll take less than five minutes.”

Lexa’s green eyes studied Clarke for a minute before she nodded minutely. Clarke was back at her car in a flash, digging through her trunk to get her med kit. The thing was massive, overly cautious, but she was a doctor of course she was gonna have one handy.

She rushed back to Lexa’s side who was still sitting on the ground, her hand back over her forehead.

“This might sting a little,” she worried. After she tore open a disinfecting swab, she gently swiped it over the wound. Her eyes flicked down to take in Lexa’s face, but she was as stoic as ever.

She took a steadying breath and carefully poked the needle into the tender skin. Lexa barely grimaced, the slight twitch of her lips the only indication of her discomfort. She was silent as her eyes skipped around Clarke’s face. Staring at different features for different amounts of time.

“I swear I’m not stalking you,” Clarke chuckled quietly, feeling slightly nervous at Lexa’s silent study of her face.

Lexa exhaled a loud puff of air, “I know. You don’t even know my last name.”

“Well, we can always change that,” Clarke said, her eyes never leaving her work.

Lexa was silent for some time, calculating, studying, “Woods.”

Clarke looked down, meeting Lexa’s gaze, “Well it is very nice to meet you _again_ , Ms. Woods.”

Lexa smirked, “The pleasure is all mine, Ms. Griffin.”

Clarke chuckled quietly before her tongue poked out from her lips as she finished off her stich and reached behind her and grabbed a pair of scissors to snip off the excess thread, “There. All finished,” she sat back on her haunches and put the scissors, needle, and thread away before grabbing a flashlight, “Hold still.” She flicked the light up at Lexa’s eyes, “Damn,” she breathed.

“What?” Lexa asked nervously.

Clarke blushed, furious with herself for speaking out loud. Lexa’s eyes were a startling shade of green. Far more beautiful than anything Clarke had ever seen and she had blurted out the word before her mind could stop her from expressing her shock at the beauty that were Lexa’s eyes.

“Um, uh, n-nothing,” she stammered, her eyes dropping to the ground, “I d-don’t think you have a concussion, but if you feel dizzy at all I implore you to go to the emergency room. Or I guess you could always call me,” she finished and she could feel the blush on her face increasing.

When she looked back up Lexa’s eyes were scanning her face, before locking on her eyes. They stayed in the silence, their eyes connected, simply taking the other in. 

“Well, what’s going on here?”

Clarke launched to her feet and whipped around. A massive man with a large fluffy beard, almost beady eyes, and tattoos covering his arms was looking down at her, “Oh, um, I-I um, my car,” she pointed out to her car, “I must’ve hit something and my low tire pressure sign came on and I googled the closest shop and it was you guys and I accidently scared her,” she pointed over to Lexa, “and she hit her head and I stitched her up, and I’m terribly sorry about all of this,” she stammered before looking down at her feet in embarrassment.

The man let out a hearty laugh before sticking his hand out, Clarke quickly gripped it and was surprised at the gentleness of the shake, “Well, I’m Gustus. This is my shop. And I can see you’ve already met Lexa,” his eyes flicked toward the girl still sitting on the ground, “Why don’t you pull your car into the open bay and we’ll get that fixed right up.”

Clarke nodded, before flashing a thankful smile at Gustus and jogged out to her car. Once she had pulled into the bay she could see Gustus squatting down next to Lexa and whispering something into her ear. Whatever he said made Lexa jerk back, her face flushing a fiery red. And that only made Gustus throw his head back with another robust laugh. He helped Lexa to her feet before walking to Clarke’s car and kneeling down by her passenger tire.

He looked it over for a minute before speaking up, “Well, it looks like you just ran over a nail. We can fix this up in a jiffy. Bring the patch kit over here will ‘ya, Lex?” he said motioning to the far corner of the shop. Lexa shuffled to where Gustus was pointing and picked up the patch kit. She kneeled down next to Gustus and began to pull the tools out of the kit.

Gustus leaned back before giving Lexa a pointed glance. She stared back at him and Clarke could have sworn she saw her eye twitch. He just raised her eyebrows at her before jerking his head in Clarke’s direction.

Lexa looked over to Clarke and blushed again, before she made her way over.

“Um would you like a drink or anything while you wait?”

“No thanks, I’m alright.”

Lexa nodded before turning to look back at Gustus.

“I’m really sorry about your head,” Clarke began, but Lexa waved her off.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve had much, much worse. Trust me.” Clarke furrowed her brow at the comment, but didn’t press it any further.

They waited in a slightly awkward silence for a while before Gustus spoke again, “Well that about does it. Your tire should be as good as new.”

Clarke stepped toward the car, “Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I know I came in late, you were probably closing up.”

“Ah, not to worry about it. We’re usually here late anyways, so were just glad we could help.”

Clarke smiled at him before pulling out her wallet, “So um, how much do I owe you?”

Gustus laughed, “Nothing at all. Call it a fair trade for patching up Lexa. It seems you did a much better job at stitching it than some of those other doctors.”

“Oh. Well, I’m pretty good with my hands,” Clarke laughed before realizing what she said. She could feel her face flashing red and could see Lexa’s lighting up too out of her peripherals.

Gustus laughed again, “It would seem so.”

“Well, um, I guess I should be on my way then. Thanks again, for everything,” Clarke said awkwardly, giving a small wave before getting in her car. Lexa waved back and Clarke could see her in her review mirror standing in the bay watching Clarke go.

She was about halfway down the gravel road when she reversed and headed back.

Lexa was still standing in the bay when she pulled up to the garage. She got out quickly- leaning her forearms on the roof of her car- before her nerves would make her chicken out, “Would you like to go on a drive with me?”

Lexa’s eyes widened momentarily, “Oh. Um, I probably should finish up here. I’ve got to finish this repair,” she finished, wringing her hands together.

“No, she doesn’t,” Gustus called from the back.

Lexa’s face went bright red, “Okay. I guess I don’t.”

Clarke smiled slightly, “Well alright then. Hop in,” she motioned to her car.

Lexa obediently got into the car, a small smile on her face. Clarke looked over at her and smiled again as she turned the heat on in her car all the way and then opened up all the windows and the sun roof.

“What’re you doing?” Lexa asked.

Clarke chuckled, “Well, it’s pretty cold outside and I love driving with the windows down, but I don’t want to be cold so…”

“You turned the heaters on,” Lexa finished, “Smart.”

Clarke laughed again before handing her phone over to Lexa, “Go ahead and pick a song. Aimless driving is always better when you’ve got something to listen to.”

Lexa hesitantly took the phone before she started scrolling through Clarke’s playlist and finally settling on White Teeth Teens.

“Interesting choice,” Clarke commented, “I haven’t listened to this song in a while.”

“I can always change it if you don’t like it,” Lexa said quietly.

“Oh no!” Clarke exclaimed, placing a light hand on Lexa’s knee, “This is a great choice.”

Lexa stiffened slightly at her touch so Clarke removed her hand quickly, fearing she had crossed some boundary, and pulled away from the garage. This time she had a destination in mind. They wound through the hills before Clarke took a sudden right down a dusty road.

“Well, if you really were a stalker you would have the perfect opportunity to kill me right now,” Lexa joked.

“Well you’ve figured out my plan now. I guess I’ll just have to improvise,” Clarke giggled.

They broke through the towering trees and came out near an opening that overlooked the city. The moon was high in the sky, but it somehow seemed dulled compared to the city lights before them.

Clarke hopped out of the car and walked to the front. She turned when she heard Lexa stepping out of the car, her eyes wide in wonder. The blonde reached her hand out and wiggled her fingers at her, “Come here.”

Lexa dutifully gripped Clarke’s hand and she could have sworn she felt tiny zaps of electricity coursing through her fingers. She climbed up onto the hood of her car, pulling Lexa up with her. They shifted around on the hood for a minute, trying to get comfortable on the cold metal, before Lexa stilled and gasped as she took in the sight before her.

“Wow.”

“Right?” Clarke breathed.

“It’s so beautiful,” she looked over at Clarke. “How did you find this place?”

A sad smile pulled at Clarke’s lips, “My friend Wells and I had this tradition of Sunday night scenic drives. We would just drive around until we found someplace cool or until we got too tired to keep going. We found this place and it just kinda became the unspoken destination that we would go to,” she turned to Lexa, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, “After he died, I just came up here to feel close to him. I don’t know, it sounds kind of stupid, but I always feel closer to him when I’m up here.”

Lexa gripped her hand a little tighter, “That’s not stupid at all.”

Clarke smiled slightly at her before turning back to the city. Lexa never let go of her hand.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think. I love hearing from y'all!


	4. Of Life and Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness, I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to update. School started back up again and I've been busy with that. Updates are going to be coming in a lot slower, but I have a three day weekend and very little homework so hopefully I will be able to write a bunch this weekend.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter. Oh and i wrote this chapter to Threnody by Goldmund. Idk you may want to listen to it, it might be a good reading companion. But if you find other songs that work better let me know!

** Lexa: **

It was beautiful. The sky was a frightening shade of navy blue, glowing slightly from the never sleeping city below. But far in the sky, the tiny specks of the stars shone brightly, illuminating the night sky far better than any light in the city could.

She had no idea how long they had been sitting out there, simply staring out into space. It could have been years and Lexa wouldn’t have cared. It was so stunning, so transcending. But the best part was who she was sharing it with.

Clarke’s eyes scanned the horizon with a quiet adoration and understanding. The lights just seemed to dance around in the otherworldly hues of blues in her eyes. And Lexa caught herself staring at Clarke more often than the skyline. It was so hard to look away. Clarke’s beauty just demanded to be recognized. And it quashed anything that the city had to offer. And Lexa was more than willing to let herself fall into the magnificence that was Clarke Griffin.

It wasn’t just her looks, yes those helped, but it was who Clarke was that drew Lexa in so much. She was just so full of life, of understanding, of _love_. And Lexa wanted, _needed_ , Clarke in her life. She was like the sun and Lexa was just a simple asteroid drawn into Clarke’s gravity. She didn’t know how it would end. Whether she would crash and burn with a shattered and broken heart or if they would ignite into something wonderful.

But there was this nagging. This terribly annoying nagging that festered in the back of Lexa’s mind- that kept telling her she didn’t deserve to have someone like Clarke in her life and most certainly Clarke didn’t need someone like Lexa to ruin her perfect one.

Right now though, Lexa smashed and smothered those thoughts, because this was perfect, this was exactly where Lexa wanted to be. Holding Clarke’s hand, staring out at the endless expanse of space and the fleeting lights of the city. It was cold out, but they were laying so close together- touching from shoulder to hip, that Lexa couldn’t even feel the cold nipping at her face. Not to mention the fact that her hand felt like it had been consumed by a flame.

Clarke was most certainly the sun and Lexa was just an estranged asteroid.

Lexa returned her gaze to the stars and let out a content sigh. But out of the corner of her eye she could see Clarke shifting slightly, turning more towards her. The blonde gripped her hand tighter and Lexa couldn’t help but turn as well. 

 She was so beautiful. And when their eyes connected it was like everything ceased to exist. Blue and green, an endless and mesmerizing harmony of color.

Clarke inched a little closer, her warm breaths teasing the wiry hair framing Lexa’s face. The brunette couldn’t help but chance a glance down at Clarke’s lips. Faintly parted, the slightest of smiles gracing the corners. They looked so soft and oh so kissable. They just screamed and demanded to be kissed. And the urge to kiss Clarke flooded over Lexa. It was so strong and Lexa found herself leaning in, her eyes never leaving Clarke’s.

The tip of their noses just barely touched and a spark ran through Lexa’s body, her heart erupted in an explosion of painful beats, hammering harshly in her chest. She was certain Clarke would be able to hear it. Especially with the silence that surrounded them. She swallowed, her mouth suddenly feeling pathetically dry.

Clarke’s eyes fluttered closed as she scooted further, her forehead pressing gently against Lexa’s, their hands still attached between them. And at her touch Lexa’s own eyes gently closed.

Their lips were so close, that Lexa could feel little sparks of electricity drawing them closer together. And she let it. They were so, so close, just barely brushing and Lexa could feel just how much Clarke’s were trembling, urging her forward.  

She could feel nothing but warmth radiating from the blonde, it was so comforting. So wonderful. And Lexa wanted to relive this moment for the rest of her life.

She let out a shaky breath and was about to finally close the distance that kept them apart, when her phone let out an annoyed chirp. The tone ripped through the air, shattering the peaceful silence that had enveloped them. She briefly considered ignoring it until she realized she had set that ring tone to only play when Anya called. And Anya only called when she was in serious trouble.

No. No. No. No.

Not right now. Why right now? Of all the Godforsaken times Anya had to call, she had to call _right_ now.

Her eyes snapped open and she swore colorfully under her breath as she slowly pushed away from Clarke and pulled her phone from her pocket, almost slamming it to her ear. She instantly missed the feeling of their fingers being intertwined. She missed the warmth that radiated off the blonde.

“Anya? Are you alright? What’s wrong?” she whispered heavily into the speaker. A tightness gripped her chest. Anger bubble gently deep in her stomach and she hated it. She hated just how mad she was at Anya.

“Lex, where are you?”                        

Lexa heaved out sigh and chanced a look at Clarke. The blonde was still on her side, her eyes closed, and a sad smile crossing her lips. Why did Anya have to call right now?

“I-I’m kind of in the middle of something, Anya. What’s going on?” She hated how angry her voiced sounded, right now.

There was a muffled sob, “I’m in trouble, Lex. It’s really bad this time”

Shit. Lexa jumped off the hood in an instant. Fear washed over her, stabbing her heart- which was once on cloud nine- and dragging it into the darkest corners of hell, “Anya. Please. What is going on?”

“Just come back to the apartment, okay? I really need you.”

Lexa nodded her head before she spoke, “Yeah, okay, I’ll be home in like fifteen minutes. Just stay there, okay?”

Anya let out a strangled okay before hanging up the phone.

When Lexa turned around, Clarke was staring at her. The deep blues exuded nothing but a saddened curiosity. She spoke softly, her voice wavering slightly, “Is everything, okay?”

Lexa scooted back onto the hood of the car and quickly gripped Clarke’s hands between her own. She looked deep into her eyes, hoping that they would convey what her words couldn’t, “I’m so sorry, Clarke. But-But I have to go. My sister. She really needs me.”

Concern washed over Clarke’s face and she bolted upright, “Of course,” she squeezed Lexa’s hand gently, “Let’s go.”

* * *

They made their way down the now empty streets of the city. Lexa guiding Clarke towards the direction of her apartment. It was strangely silent and she could tell Clarke was bursting with questions, but not wanting to overstep her bounds. And Lexa wondered, if Clarke did ask, how much was she willing to tell?

Just driving her home Clarke was going to see far more of Lexa’s life than the brunette had ever wanted her to see. She was about to witness the reality of Lexa’s poverty as they drove up to the shittiest apartment in probably one of the sketchiest neighborhoods. And honestly Clarke drove a really nice car which would draw a lot more attention than Lexa was wanting.

It’s not that Lexa was ashamed of how she lived. She worked hard to be where she was at, but she was quiet about her personal life. She didn’t let a whole lot of people in and she wanted to keep it that way.

But Clarke had already snuck her way deep into Lexa’s chest. And it ached knowing that Clarke would probably treat her differently if she knew just how poor the brunette was.

Lexa cleared her throat, “Um, you can just pull up to the curb.” She pointed toward the run down brick apartment building.

Clarke nodded as she pulled her car to the curb, “Are you going to be okay? Do you need any help?”

Lexa knew Clarke was just being polite. She knew she was just saying that as a formality. She shook her head.

But then Clarke surprised her, she grabbed Lexa’s hand and pulled a pen from her pocket. She quickly gripped the cap in her teeth and uncapped the pen. She flattened out Lexa’s palm with steady hands and then wrote something down, “Well, just in case you need anything. You’ll know who to call.”

Lexa nodded again and she could have sworn she caught Clarke eyeing her lips. But she shook the memory from her head. This was probably the last time she would see Clarke.

Clarke pressed the pen into her open palm, “Well, come on. It’s only fair that I get yours.” She opened up her own palm and Lexa could feel her heart rate increase.

Clarke actually wanted her number.

Lexa hesitated a moment before she scribbled her number down messily on Clarke’s palm. The blonde smiled warmly before leaning across the console and pressing a kiss to Lexa’s cheek.

“Seriously, if you need anything,” she raised her hand a bit, motioning to the number.

The brunette just nodded dumbly, her mind had completely short circuited the minute Clarke’s lips touched her cheek. She could tell her face had erupted in a series of vibrant reds and pink. It felt like her whole body had been consumed by the warmth of Clarke’s words. Of Clarke’s lips.

They stared at each other for a minute, before Lexa nodded again and got out of the car. She ran to the door and watched as Clarke drove off into the city.

“Jeez, she is going to be the death of me,” she murmured, taking a steadying breath, before she raced up to her apartment.

The keys jingled wildly as she hastily tried to unlock her door. She finally managed the lock, but when she pushed, the door remained firmly shut.

“Damn it,” she growled as she threw her shoulder into the door a couple times before it finally gave and smacked open.

“Anya? Anya where are you?” she shouted.

There was a quiet moan from the bathroom and Lexa sprinted over, hurdling their dilapidated couch in the process.

Ripping the door open she spotted her sister leaning against the toilet, vomit running down her chin.

She barely glanced at Lexa before her body jerked with another violent heave. Lexa was at her side immediately, pulling her hair away from her sweaty face. She carefully sent her hand through Anya’s hair, pulling out any tangles. Her sister’s once beautiful dusty blonde hair was now a shambled mess, patchy at best, and now a dull brown. Nothing like it used to be.

Anya pitched over the toilet again, choking up what was left in her stomach. Lexa ran her hand over her sister’s back. She could feel practically every rib and she immediately ached for her. Why did this have to happen for her sister? Anya had always been an amazing person, treating everyone with kindness and respect and the world just threw it back in her face.

When it seemed like the sickness was finally passed Lexa slowly pulled Anya into her arms and carried her over to the bed. She set her down carefully and tucked the sheets around her. She brought a damp cloth and gently wiped the sweat from her brow before she kneeled down next to her.

“An, why didn’t you call me sooner?”

Her sister’s eyes cracked open and her tired amber eyes rested on her, “Because Lex, I-I haven’t seen you this you this happy in a long time. And I’m no idiot. I know that look. I haven’t seen it…” she cut herself off, “You’ve met someone. And you usually don’t stay out until two in the morning unless you are hanging out with her.” She let out a heavy sigh, “And I am so tired of holding you back in life. I feel so weak for needing you to be by my side because I can’t handle the treatment.”

“Jesus, Anya, no,” she shook her head, adamantly, “You are my sister. When you call, I am on my way, no matter what I am doing.”

Anya smiled sadly, “And that’s what I hate Lexa. I hate that you have to worry about me. I hate that you have to take care of my. But most of all I-I’m sorry I ruined your night.”

“Anya, you didn’t ruin anything,” she held out her hand and showed her sister the digits on her palm, “I mean I got her number. So that’s always a plus.”

Anya let out a chuckle before a coughing fit began to shake through her body, “You are quite the ladies woman,” Anya smiled as the tears dried in her eyes.

Lexa smiled and placed a kiss on Anya’s forehead, “Alright, get some sleep, okay?”

Her sister nodded before rolling to her side.

Lexa placed another kiss on Anya’s temple before she got up and walked to the kitchen. Pouring herself a glass of water, she turned and stared out the dingy window, her reflection clear in the dirty glass. All she could see were a set of dead green eyes.

“Damn it,” she mumbled, slumping over the sink. Anya had been getting treated for over two years now and while her hair had held out remarkable well, the rest of her body wasn’t. She was getting weaker by the day and with each doctors visit Lexa’s worry only continued. While her tumors weren’t growing, they weren’t shrinking either. And Lexa wasn’t sure how much longer she could afford to send Anya to get her treatment.

She knew Gustus and Indra were doing their best to support her, but she really needed more money and fast.

Lexa was rapidly running out of options. Placing the cup on the counter, she turned and watched her sister’s sleeping form for a moment. She would not let Anya die from this. She would not let her sister be consumed by this disease and she would do everything in her power to save her.

As quietly as she could, she ruffled through her closet until she pulled out a dusty, old shoebox. She rummaged around inside for a moment before picking out a tiny crumpled piece of paper.

She had promised herself that she would be done with this once she got her jobs. She had put those days behind her. But now. Now she needed to do this more than ever.

She rubbed her hands over her face and quickly called the number. A familiar gruff voice picked up the phone,

“Nia?” the brunette asked, “Its Lexa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh! Okay, I hope you guys liked this chapter. I really debated whether or not I wanted Anya to have cancer or to have a crippling drug addiction and I decided that the addiction wouldn't due Anya's badass character any justice. So I went with the cancer. Idk, let me know what you guys think.
> 
> Also, why is Lexa calling Nia? What had she promised herself she would never do again? 
> 
> You'll just have to find out in the next chapter.
> 
> I love hearing from you guys and I truly appreciate everyone that has commented, bookmarked, or kudosed so far!


	5. What are friends for?

** Clarke: **

It was really late when Clarke finally got back to her apartment. It might have been because she got lost multiple times on her way back from Lexa’s apartment or it was the fact that she just sat in her car staring at nothing for about twenty minutes contemplating that almost kiss and just how damn badly she wanted to kiss Lexa. And that absolutely terrified her. She had only known the brunette for a short amount of time but there was just something about her. Something so devastatingly remarkable and intriguing. Clarke just couldn’t keep her mind off the brunette that had enraptured so much of her attention.

She just itched to call Lexa. To talk to her well into the night. To find out her deepest fears. Her greatest triumphs. Just everything about her. Clarke wanted to know it all. She wanted to truly and deeply _know_ Lexa.

But of course she could never say any of this out loud. That would be beyond creepy. And she would most definitely be getting a restraining order in her mail if she ever mentioned just how infatuated she was with Lexa.

She wandered into her apartment, which still smelled of fresh paint, and quickly put her keys away, tossing her jacket onto the couch. She just needed to get this out of her system. She needed to get Lexa out of her head.

She picked up the remote that was sitting on her couch and turned on her stereo system. It was playing some slow and haunting melody. The depressing cords flooded throughout her hallways, pouring into her soul. She had no idea why, but this was the best music to listen to when she was in one of her ‘artistic moods’. And this apartment was the perfect place for her to release her creativity.

Clarke had been drawing and painting from a very young age and as she grew her talent did as well. She loved to just sit and create. And when she found out that this apartment had a tiny art studio she immediately fell in love.

She gripped the large handle and slide the massive metal door back. The chalky scent of her pastels hit her and she inhaled deeply. She just loved that smell. It was so comforting. So calming.

Plopping down in front of an empty canvas she just let her mind wander. She let her mind paint what it wanted. She let it roam free. Honestly, she had no idea what she would end up with or how it would look, but she would know the meaning behind them. She would know what each color and shape meant.

Greens and brown, blues and magenta’s, golds and navies, filled the space around her. They were such contrasting colors but they all worked so well. Her hand flew over the canvases, holding nothing back. It was so wonderful, so beautiful.

“Clarke?”

The brush rocketed out of her hand as she jumped in her seat. She whipped around. Standing in her studio’s doorway were her two best friends.

“Jesus, what are you guys doing here?” she asked, placing a hand over her rapidly fluttering heart.

Raven smirked at her, “Well since it is nine o’clock and you said you would go get breakfast with us today…”  
“And you didn’t show up at the restaurant, we decided to pay you a little visit,” Octavia finished.

Clarke gaped and looked down at her wrist watch. Sure enough the little hand was on the nine. She had been up all night painting. Well, and hanging out with Lexa.

“Shit,” she mumbled, rubbing her hands over her tired face and through her messy hair, “I’m sorry guys I really lost track of time.” She motioned blindly around her.

Octavia quirked a brow, “Yea, we can see that.”

Clarke turned around and almost immediately flushed, truly seeing what she had painted for the first time. She had painted Lexa.

Her stunning green eyes pierced through the canvas as they roamed over the midnight blue sky and the golden stars.

She had painted Lexa exactly like how she last saw her.  

“I, um,” she flailed, she could feel her face heating up even more.

“She’s beautiful, Clarke. Who is she?” Octavia asked, her voice soft.

Clarke eyed the painting for a moment longer, before she felt Raven’s hand on her shoulder, “Clarke?”

“She really is, isn’t she?” Clarke mumbled.

“Damn, someone has a massive crush,” Raven laughed.

“I-I,” Clarke floundered, “Yea. I do.”

Honestly, she couldn’t deny it. Clarke had a massive, enormous, gigantic, crush on Lexa. As evident by the massive painting of the girl that she had spent most of the night and morning working on.

Raven wrapped her arms around Clarke’s and tugged her out of the studio, “Well, come on. You’ve got to tell us about her at breakfast.” 

* * *

It really was more of a brunch, but when they got to the quaint little café there were only a few people there.

They each ordered coffee and Clarke couldn’t help the yawn that ripped past her mouth.

“Clarke,” Octavia eyed her warily, “How long have you been up?”

A small smile crossed Clarke lips, “Since eight,” she looked at her two friends, “Yesterday morning.”

“Clarke!” they both yelled, drawing the attention of the few customers that were quietly eating their food.

Raven looked over her shoulder and glared at an elderly couple that was staring at them.

“I just,” the blonde waved at her head absently, “I needed to get her off my mind and I just felt like painting would help me with that.”

Octavia reached out and laid her hand on top of Clarke’s, “Okay, I understand that but you need to make sure you take care of yourself. When was the last time you’ve eaten? Showered?” she asked her nose scrunching slightly in disgust.

“Last night. Calm down, mom,” Clarke chuckled, rolling her eyes at Octavia. The girl, even though she was a year younger than Clarke, tended to mom her a lot.

Octavia patted her hand, “Well. We just care about you,” Raven nodded in agreement before Octavia continued, “So spill. Who is this girl?”

Clarke smiled again, “She’s great you guys.”

“Well if the smile on your face is any indication, I wouldn’t doubt that,” Raven said lightly, “How’d you meet her?”

The blonde thought back to the first time she met Lexa. God, she was so stunningly beautiful. Even if she had scowl on her face most of the time.

“We were both shopping and picked up the exact same pair of gloves. She ended up letting me take the last pair and I asked her out to coffee as a thank you for letting me have the gloves.”

“And she said yes?” Raven asked.

“Well, obviously,” Octavia said, elbowing the girl slightly.

“Yea, she said yes,” Clarke continued, “And we talked for hours and hours. When we left the shop, she wouldn’t tell me her name. Which I thought was kinda weird, but whatever. I had to go back because I realized I had left the gloves and when I got back she was there because she forgot her scarf. And we ended up going skating. It was really beautiful and we just talked about pretty much everything.”

The girls let out a chorus of ‘awws’.

“But we parted ways. Oh and she finally gave me her name, Lexa Woods. I ran into her again at the office and I invited her over again and we painted my apartment, which was fun because it ended up in a paint war.”

“Wait, whoa, really Clarke? You invite this girl over after knowing her for a couple of hours and ask her to help you paint your apartment.”

Clarke smiled sheepishly, “Yea. But you are distracting me. I haven’t even gotten to the good part yet. It seriously- I’m not joking guys- is like fate. Because I ran into her yesterday when I was going on my late night Sunday drive. She works at some mechanics shop up in the hills and my tire started leaking air, so I googled close shops and hers came up and when I showed up, boom, there she was. They fixed my car up and I asked her to go on a drive with me,” she smiled slightly at the memory, “I took her to Wells and I’s hill.”

Raven traded a look with Octavia, “So when do we get to meet her?”

“She’s really shy and tends to keep to herself. I don’t know if you ever will.”

Raven harrumphed, but Octavia persisted, “Well, Clarke if you took her to the outlook that you and Wells found, I have a very strong feeling you are going to be seeing a lot more of her. And honestly,” she gestured between her and Raven, “Neither of us have seen you this happy about someone in a really, really long time. So I would really like to meet this girl.”

“Yea,” Raven agreed, “We need to make sure she ain’t some creep.”

Clarke tossed a potato at her, “You’re the worst. She’s not a creep. She’s really sweet and caring and hot, God she is _hot_. Andwemayormaynothavealmostkissedlastnight,” Clarke scrambled.

“Wait, whoa, what was that last part?” Raven asked, chewing slightly around the potato she picked off her shirt.

Clarke huffed, “We may have almost kissed last night.”

“What?!” both girls squealed, earning them more glares.

“You should have started with that!” Octavia yelled.

“Now, we definitely have to meet her,” Raven proclaimed.

“Wait, ohmygosh,” Octavia’s arm shot out, hitting Raven.

“Ow.” She squeaked, rubbing her face.

“I have the best idea,” Octavia continued, her eyes wide, “Invite her to my party next week!”

“I don’t know, O. She doesn’t really seem like the party type.”

Octavia deflated a little and Clarke felt instantly guilty for shooting her down like that, “But I guess I could always ask. I do have her number.”

“Yes!” Octavia turned and high-fived Raven, “This is going to be epic.”

* * *

Once Clarke got home she decided it probably would be for the best if she showered and changed out of her paint smudged clothes. She stood in the warm water for quite a while, just enjoying the heat on her skin. It was rejuvenating. But once she could no longer turn the temperature up and she could feel the goosebumps rising on her skin she begrudgingly got out. Quickly, she threw her robe on and wandered to her art studio. The door was still open from earlier this morning and she leaned on the door frame, taking in the details of her work. It looked a lot like Lexa, yet there was something about the painting that did quite capture Lexa. Sure there were the tiny freckles peppering across her nose and the wispy hairs that just couldn’t be tamed, but it was just off. And it wasn’t until Clarke’s gaze landed on Lexa’s eyes, that she realized what was wrong. It was her eyes. She had painted the color to perfection. But she hadn’t captured the raw emotions that raged behind Lexa’s eyes. Rather she _couldn’t_ capture the emotions behind Lexa’s eyes.

She hummed quickly to herself before she stepped out of the room and closed the door. She rarely let anyone ever see her paintings, they were just too personal. Raven and Octavia were the exception though. They were Clarke’s best friends and knew everything about her. They were actually the first people she ever let see her paintings.

Yawning again she pulled on a large hoodie and a pair of shorts before laying down on her bed. She picked up her phone from off of her nightstand and quickly typed out a message before erasing it all and starting it over. And then erasing that. And then erasing that.

After a few more tries she eventually settled on something simple:

 

**Clarke:**

**2:30 PM**

So I have a question for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first off I kinda feel like this chapter is a little fillery so I apologize for that. But I felt like it was important to show Clarke's relationship with Raven and Octavia because I just love the trio. 
> 
> Second I really debated for a long, long time about what I wanted Clarke's text to say. Because I didn't want her to come off as heartless for not asking Lexa how her sister was doing, but eventually I decided to go with what I did just for the sake of progressing the story further. 
> 
> Anyhoo, thank you all so much for your wonderful comments! I am working on the next chapter as we speak so hopefully I'll be able to post that soon!


	6. Worth fighting for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whattt?!?!?! Two chapters in one night???

Lexa paced nervously in her apartment. Anya was asleep and she was trying to stay quiet, but she was almost positive that her heart was beating so hard that the entire neighborhood could hear it. Was she really going to do this? Would she really let herself fall back into Nia’s trap after working so hard to free herself from her grips?

But one look at her sister and she knew it was the right thing to do. As quietly as she could she shuffled over to her closet and pulled out a very worn duffle bag. She quickly checked to make sure everything was still in there before making her way over to Anya. She placed a soft hand on her sister’s head and placed an even softer kiss on her forehead.

“I’ll be back soon,” she whispered, even though she knew her words were falling on deaf ears.

* * *

It didn’t take long for Lexa to make her way along the very familiar docks to the warehouse. She knew the way like the back of her hand and had been here more times than she would have liked. She stopped briefly and glanced out over the water. The moonlight reflecting deeply across the calm water. Taking a deep breath she tried to steady herself.

“This is for Anya,” she mumbled as she made her way over to the side door. A massive, burly man was standing guard outside, but he recognized Lexa immediately and stepped aside to let her in, offering only a swift, “She’s upstairs,” before returning to his stoic stance.

Lexa’s nerves were shot and she wondering when it got to be like this. She was never nervous, always composed, but now? Now she felt like a child.

She made her way up the metal stairs and into the dark office. A single desk lamp was on, illuminating the back side of a massive leather chair.

“So, Lexa. We meet again,” a harsh voice growled, “I knew you couldn’t stay away.”

“I’m doing this for Anya. Nothing else,” Lexa responded tersely.

A snarl of a laugh echoed through the room and the chair slowly turned around, “Mmm, no, Lexa. You need me.”  The woman leaned her elbows on her desk. The smuggest look on her face.

The brunette could feel her anger bubbling beneath the surface of her skin, “I. Do. Not. Need. You. Nia,” she snarled, “I never have and I never will.”

The woman smirked, “Then why are you here?”

“Because I need money for Anya’s treatment.”

Nia laughed again and the sound sent shivers up Lexa’s spine, “So you do need me.”

Lexa stayed silent and that only made Nia laugh harder.

“Well, I suppose I can fit you in. You sure about this, Commander?” she leered, “It’s been a while. I would hate for that pretty face of yours to get messed up,” she hissed, “Although, I doubt it would ever get as bad as that girlfriend of yours.” Nia eyed Lexa carefully before sneering, cocking her head to the side, “What ever happened to her?”

Lexa barely registered the fact that her nails were digging deep into her palms, small trickles of blood seeping out of the wounds. She felt like she was on fire. Every fiber of her being was begging her to rip Nia to pieces. But she was right. Lexa did need Nia. She needed the money. More than she needed revenge.

Nia sat back in her chair, “Very well. You know where to go. I’ll set something up for you.”       

Lexa all but ran out of the room. She wanted to scream. She wanted to yell until her lungs bled and she couldn’t feel anything anymore. She thundered down the stairs and ran into a dingy locker room. She threw her fist into the closest locker. A resounding whump echoed through the room and pain radiated up Lexa’s arm, her fist screaming at her. But she ignored it and threw her foot into the locker. The door dented slightly and Lexa lunged at it again. The metal creaked and after a few more kicks it collapsed into itself.

Before she knew what she was doing, Lexa was screaming at the top of her lungs. She was almost certain everyone outside could hear her but honestly she couldn’t give two fucks.

Her throat was raw and flaming. It was too much. There was just so much pain. So many memories that she wished she could just forget.

It didn't take long before her screams were choked into violent sobs and she crumbled into a mess in front of the locker. She just wanted to feel numb. Because not being able to feel anything had to be better than how she felt right now.

It was some time before she heard someone knock on the door, and she looked up from her spot on the floor, “You’re up in fifteen.”

Lexa swallowed hard and stood up. She picked up her duffle bag and placed it on the bench in front of the lockers. She wiped angrily at her face a few times before sniffling and pulling out a pair of black leggings and a skin tight black tank top.

Carefully, she pulled out a role of tape and wrapped up her knuckles. Her right hand was already swelling from punching the locker. That was going to hurt like a bitch in the morning.

She cracked her neck before pushing the door open and heading into the pit. It was exactly like how she remembered. It was dark and dirty. A concrete pit in the middle of a massive warehouse. Bleachers surrounded the pit and as usual it was packed with screaming people. Angry people.

It smelled like sweat and blood and Lexa couldn’t help as her body stiffened. It had been a long time since she had been here and she had hoped she would never have to return. But fate had never favored her.

She made her way over to some guy with a clipboard. He was tall, really tall, with a mohawk and a tattoo on the side of his neck, “You Woods?” she nodded, “Alright, get in the ring. You’re up, now.”

Lexa nodded tersely before straightening her spine and hopping over the fence into the ring. A girl slightly smaller than her, with beady black eyes and fiery red hair jumped in after her.

Lexa focused all of her attention on her. It was just like before. Watch your opponent. Find their weaknesses. Exploit those weaknesses.

She vaguely heard the announcer over the loud speaker, she was too busy watching the red head.

“In blue we have The Crimson Curse. A rookie in the ring but feisty none-the-less. And in black we have a surprise fighter tonight, ladies and gentleman. Returning from a four year hiatus we have the infamous, the daring, the deadly Commander!” The crowd roared and Lexa knew that a few of them remembered her. This was going to be a memorable fight.

“As you all know there are no rules here. Anything goes. And tonight we have a whopping five thousand dollars up for grabs to whoever wins tonight’s round,” he was silent for a second and let the crowd’s cheers build. “Are you ready?” The crowd roared in delight, “Are you ready?” he yelled. The answering aggression was all he needed. “Fight!”

The attack was immediate. She went straight for Lexa’s face. Throwing jab after jab at her. Lexa easily blocked them all. This girl was all aggression and no technique. That was how Lexa was going to beat her.

Lexa swerved around the girl’s right fist and floated to the side, launching out an immediate left right left combo. Her knuckles hit with startling efficiency and she could feel the girls face crumple.

The red head staggered back, a look of shock on her face. She snarled before charging at Lexa. She threw her head down and slammed into Lexa’s stomach, efficiently knocking the air from her lungs. They collapsed in a heap and the girl immediately launched her second attack. She landed a few good blows and Lexa could feel her lip split. But as the girl went for another punch Lexa grabbed her fist and twisted her wrist. The girl screamed in pain and rolled off Lexa, twisting with the angle of her arm.

Lexa took the opportunity and threw out a right hook. A burst of blood splattered from the girls nose the instant Lexa’s fist connect with her face. She howled in pain and grabbed at her nose with her free hand. Lexa released her wrist and the red head glowered at her.

“You’re dead, you bitch,” she growled. Lexa egged her on, “Well come on then.”

She launched herself at Lexa and at the last minute she slid to the floor. Lexa gasped in surprise, not expected such a move. The red head’s feet collided against Lexa’s ankles. The brunette’s face slammed into the concrete, her nose cracking in the process. She blinked quickly trying to get the stars to fade from her eyes, but she was too slow and the red head grabbed her by her pony tail. The girl reached around the pulled Lexa into a choke hold.

Lexa could feel the air being sucked from her lungs. She had to do something now if she wanted any chance of getting that money. She struggled slightly before she was able to angle her jaw and she bit down hard. She could taste blood in her mouth and the reaction was almost instant. The girl leapt back.

Lexa sprung to her feet. She took a quick step forward, jumped into the air and twisted her body. Her heal connected with the girls face and she didn’t even have to turn around to know that it worked. The crowd was silent before erupting into a whirlwind of screams.

The brunette wiped at her nose, her arm coming back bloody, as she turned around.

The red head was in a heap on the ground, her cheek bleeding profusely, undoubtedly from Lexa’s knock out kick.

She wandered over to the girl and lightly pushed her shoulder with her foot. The girl was out cold.

The announcer chuckled slightly, “Well it seems ladies and gentlemen that the Commander has still got it! And in a record time too!” the crowd cheered even louder.

Lexa looked around, her nose hurt like a bitch and she could tell that her ankles and knuckles would be so swollen in the morning that she wasn’t sure she would be able to move them.

Gingerly, she pulled herself out of the ring and walked over to the guy with the clip board. He smiled at her smugly, “Welcome back, Commander,” he said as he handed Lexa the cash.

She took it without a word and headed back to the locker room. Quickly, she undid her wraps and threw on a light jacket, not even bothering to wipe the rest of the blood from her face.

She ran from the building, not wanting to run into Nia again and hurried back to her apartment.

* * *

It was still dark in the apartment when she got back, but when she turned to close the front door, a lamp turned on.

“Lexa?” came Anya’s groggy voice.

Lexa sniffle slightly, her nose was still bleeding, “An, you should be asleep.”

“So should you,” Anya said as she got off the bed and walked toward Lexa.

Lexa kept her face from her sister, “I just had some stuff to do,” she mumbled.

“Lexa. Where were you?” Anya said, placing a hand on her sister’s shoulder and turning her around. The gasp of shock was enough to make Lexa cringe, but the look of sadness and anger that flitted across Anya’s face enough to make Lexa burn.

“You promised me, Lexa! You promised me you wouldn’t go back!” her sister yelled.

“I didn’t have a choice, Anya.”

Her sister glowered at her, “You always have a choice, Lexa.”

The brunette ruffled around in her bag and pulled out the money, “Not when I can get this much money, this fast. We need this Anya. You need this.”

A sob ripped through her, “I-I didn’t want you to get the money this way, Lex,” she wailed, now more angry with herself than anything, “I don’t want you to have to go back there, especially after everything that happened, just so that you can get money. There has to be another way.”

Lexa pulled Anya into a hug, “Anya if I don’t do this, they will stop your treatment. There is no other way. Not this time.”  

It was silent for some time, save for Anya’s quiet sniffles as the girls just held each other. Anya may not like it, but deep down she knew her sister was right. Quietly, she released Lexa and pulled her to the bathroom. Gently, she cleaned up her face, sticking tissues up her nose to stop the bleeding.

When she was done she led Lexa over to the bed and tucked her in before sliding in next to her. After some time Lexa could hear Anya’s breathing steady and she knew she was asleep. Rolling over she groaned in pain, but picked up her phone. She knew she wasn’t going to be able to sleep, but she could at least entertain herself.

She pressed the home button and as the screen lit up the room. Her heart jumped into her throat when she read her only text:

 

**Clarke**

**2:30 PM**

So I have a question for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I hope this cleared some things up. Nia runs an underground fighting arena and Lexa used to fight for her. She quit after something bad happened (hmm I wonder what that will be?) and now has decided to return so that she can get the money for Anya's treatments.
> 
> So basically Lexa is a bad ass that will do anything for her sister even if it causes some serious distress.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all liked it! Let me know what y'all thought. If you have any comments or critiques let me know! I want to hear them!
> 
> Oh and P.S we are starting to get into some angsty stuff now


	7. Breaking down walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest I'm not a huge fan of this chapter, but I felt that it was important to show how Lexa is strong for Anya but when she is with Clarke she allows herself to feel all those fears.

** Clarke: **

“No,” Clarke sighed heavily into the phone, “No. Mr. Cangelosi… Mr. Cangelosi, please. Like I said before you cannot turn purple from eating too many eggplants,” she paused, listening to the elderly man on the other line. “Yes... Yes. I’m sure… Well, if your hand is purple Mr. Cangelosi I suggest you come in right away or go to the emergency room, but I can assure you it is not from eating too many eggplants.”

She pulled the receiver away from her ear as someone started yelling into the other line. Apparently, Mrs. Cangelosi was trying to tell Milton (Mr. Cangelosi) that he needed to get off the phone and wash the purple paint off of his hand.

“Oh? You were painting your living room purple and that was why your hand was purple? Mm, I see,” there was some more yelling, “Yes. You’re welcome, Mr. Cangelosi. If you have any more questions don’t hesitate to call.”

Clarke hung up the receiver, “Seven years of medical school and training and this is what I get,” she mumbled to herself, waving her hand impatiently at the phone.

“Rough day?” a voice sounded behind her.

The blonde turned around to see her mother’s partner behind her, “Yeah, you could say that.”

Kane laughed, “Well,” he looked down at his watch, “It’s almost five and we don’t have any more appointments today. Why don’t you head home a little early? I mean it’s a Wednesday night. You have been working nonstop, you need a little break.”

“Are you sure?”

Kane nodded, a slight smile on his face, almost hidden by his graying beard, “Very.”

Clarke smiled, “Thank you, Dr. Kane. I appreciate it.”

She quickly went to the break room, filled out her time card, and grabbed her stuff from her locker before heading out to her car. She had just unlocked her car when her phone pinged.

 

**Lexa**

**5:27 PM**

Shoot.

 

Clarke smiled at the simplicity of the text.

**Clarke**

**5:30 PM**

Do you have any plans tonight?

 

**Lexa**

**5:31 PM**

None what-so-ever.

**Clarke**

**5:34 PM**

Perfect. Come by my place tonight around 7?

If you want to of course.

 

Was that too forward? Should she have asked that? She hadn’t seen Lexa in about a week… that was an appropriate amount of time to wait before you ask someone over again, right? Her phone binged again.

**Lexa**

**5:37 PM**

I’ll be there.

* * *

Clarke was stirring the sauce, her hips swaying slightly to the music, when she heard a small knock on her door. Hastily, she put down the spoon and yelled out a quick, “Be right there,” before hustling to the door.

She peaked through her peep hole, more out of habit that anything, before opening the door. Lexa stood with her back to the door, nervously shifting on her feet. She turned around at the sound of the door opening and instantly a large bouquet of flowers were being thrust into Clarke’s face. She grasped at the stems with a laugh and brought the flowers down slightly to smell them. They were a lovely mixture of red, white, and light pink roses. And they smelled heavenly.

“Lexa,” she said, a smile to her voice, “You didn’t have to get me flowers.”

She heard the other girl exhale slightly, “Well, I was hoping they would distract you.”

Clarke looked up curiously from the flowers at the girl. Lexa’s hair was covering her face slightly, “Distract me from what?”

The brunette lifted her head at the words and a shocked gasp ripped itself from Clarke. Lexa looked like shit. Her lip was split. Her right eye was black and blue. And her nose had a nasty looking scab crossing the bridge of her nose. The flowers fell to the floor as Clarke’s hands instantly wrapped themselves around Lexa’s cheeks, a thumb gently swiping over Lexa’s bottom lip.

“Oh my god, Lexa! What happened?” she panicked, “Are you alright? Jesus! What happened?”

Lexa’s warm hands curled carefully around Clarke’s, stroking a soothing thumb over the back of her hand, “I had a little argument with my coffee table. But I’m alright.”

“What?” Clarke asked.

Lexa smiled slightly, trying to hide the wince that crossed her features, “I was going to get a glass of water when I tripped over my coffee table and hit the floor face first.”

Clarke eyed her warily before nodding slightly. She didn’t believe the brunette’s story for a minute. There is no way in hell that falling on the floor would cause that much damage.

She carefully removed her hands from Lexa’s face, but quickly intertwined their fingers. She picked up the bouquet from the floor before leading Lexa into her apartment.

“Well, it seems that your coffee table won that fight,” she said lightly and Lexa seemed to relax at her words.

“Yea you could say that,” she said quietly, following obediently behind the blonde.

Clarke sat her down on one of the barstools before turning around and pulling open her fridge door and pulling out two beers and handing one to Lexa, “Well, I hope you are hungry. Because I have made way more food than I could ever eat by myself.”

Lexa chuckled, “Yeah, I haven’t eaten since lunch today. I’m starving.” She took the opened bottle from Clarke and took a quick swig, “What’d you make?”

Clarke smiled again, “My famous manicotti. I guess I should say my grandma’s famous manicotti. She gave me the recipe before she passed away.”

“That sounds otherworldly right now,” Lexa said softly.

“Perfect,” Clarke said before motioning towards her cabinets, “Could you grab some plates, while I finish dishing this up?”

Lexa nodded and hopped of her stool. Clarke couldn’t help but watch as Lexa stretched to grab the plates. Her black cotton tee raised up slightly to reveal an ugly purple and green bruise along her hip.

Fight with her coffee table Clarke’s ass. There was definitely a story behind what happened, that Lexa wasn’t willing to share, and for some reason that really, really bothered Clarke.

She grabbed the dish and walked over to her dining table where Lexa had just put the plates. The brunette was idly standing by her windows, staring out at the darkening city.

Clarke cleared her throat, “Well, dinner is served.”

Lexa turned, a faint smile on her face, and wandered back toward the table. They chatted for a while, all the while Lexa was moaning over how good Clarke’s cooking was, before they both went silent.

Clarke stared at the girl for a moment. Her green eyes were darting everywhere. She looked nervous and Clarke had no idea why. It’s not like she hadn’t been in her apartment before. They had hung out before.

She reached across and placed a soft hand on Lexa’s, “Are you, okay?”

Lexa’s gaze burned into Clarke’s hand before her she looked up. Her eyes glazed over slightly as if she was seeing trough Clarke. The blonde had never seen Lexa’s eyes like that. They were the saddest Clarke had ever seen them. The normally striking green seemed dulled and pale. Nothing like how they were when Clarke had first met the brunette. There wasn’t a fire glowing deep in the olive embers anymore. And an instant pang of sickness hit Clarke. She hated how Lexa looked so… distraught. Looked so hopeless.

The girl’s brow furrowed for a brief moment before she shook her head, her eyes finally glistening in tears.

“No,” she said so quietly it was barely above a whisper.

Clarke tightened her grip around Lexa’s hand slightly, “Is it about your sister?”

Lexa swallowed as a tear dripped down her cheek and she nodded.

“Lexa, what happened the other night? Is she okay?”

Green eyes darted back up and connected with Clarke’s, “She’s dying.”

“What?” Clarke gasped. She knew it wasn’t the most sensitive thing she could have said. In fact there were a thousand other things she should have said, but that was the first thing that came out.

Lexa sniffled slightly, “She has stage four lung cancer. We caught it really late and they’ve been hitting her hard with some pretty serious medication a-and…” she let out a soft sob, “i-its making her really sick. T-that’s why I had to leave the other night. I-I don’t k-know how l-long she h-has.”

“Oh Lexa,” Clarke murmured, standing up, and pulling the other girl up with her. She drew the brunette in for a hug and she could instantly feel the tension leaving her body. Shaky fingers tangled into soft brown curls at the base of Lexa’s neck, pulling the girl even closer to Clarke.

It was like a damn had been broken and suddenly Lexa was bawling uncontrollably into Clarke’s shoulder. Harsh sobs wracked her body and stressed fingers dug into Clarke’s shoulders.

The blonde hushed soothing nothings into Lexa’s ear and gently pulled her to the couch where they collapsed in a heap of entangled, hugging limbs.

Clarke wasn’t sure how long Lexa cried, but she knew the girl had fallen asleep when her body finally stopped shaking. She carefully removed herself and pulled a blanket over Lexa, placing a tender kiss on her forehead, wishing her nothing but the sweetest of dreams. She sat down into the recliner next to the couch, determined to be awake should the brunette need anything, but soon enough her own eyes slipped closed and a deep sleep took over.

* * *

Clarke woke to the smell of bacon. Her eyes blinked blearily open and her neck instantly screamed in pain. Sleeping in a chair; clearly, was not a good thing to do.

Lexa’s blurry face swam into view. Her eyes were soft and kind and seemed to have lightened by a thousand shades. They looked almost happy. But they also looked determined to not talk about what had happened last night.

“Morning sleepy head,” she chuckled, before glancing back at the kitchen, her face twisting nervously, “I hope you don’t mind that I made breakfast.”

Clarke chuckled, her voice still raspy from sleep, and she could see Lexa smiling slightly, “I never complain about someone cooking for me,” she said, finishing off her statement with a yawn and stretch.

Lexa smiled again and pulled Clarke to her feet, “Well, good because I’ve made more food than I could ever eat by myself.”

The blonde let out a bark of a laugh, “Excellent.”

Lexa led her back to the kitchen and quietly dished up a couple pieces of bacon, pancakes, and eggs on a plate for her.

And of course the food was heavenly.

“So,” Lexa began, her green eyes watching Clarke intently, “I was wondering… if maybe… you would like to hang out on Saturday?”

“I would really like that,” Clarke grinned, “what do you have in mind?”

The brunette’s face paled slightly, “I-I hadn’t thought about it, to be honest.”

That only made Clarke laugh, her head thrown back in a loud chortle, “Well, I’ve got an idea,” she smiled, an almost impish look in her eye, “what do you think of parties?”          

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I have decided that I am wanting to make this a pretty longish fic, so prep yourselves for that. But also it's going to take some pretty dark turns so I believe that I am going to have to change the rating pretty soon.   
> I just felt that right now the story was kinda stagnant and hopefully where I am planning on taking it will make it far more interesting to read. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and I really appreciate your comments! I love hearing from you guys so please let me know what you thought of this chapter!


	8. Late Night Therapy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa gets some feels

** Lexa: **

“Remind me why I am doing this again?” Lexa asked as she paced in the kitchen.

Anya sighed and heaved herself onto her feet before walking over to her sister, “Because you,” she placed a finger on Lexa’s nose, “deserve to have some fun. You work far too hard, Lexa. You need this. You know you like Clarke so just let this happen, okay?”

Lexa was about to protest when their apartment intercom buzzed.

“Speak of the devil,” Anya muttered, “She’s here now so there is no backing out.”

She went over to the com and pressed the button, “Lexa will be right out, hold tight.” She turned around and gently smoothed out the collar of Lexa’s jacket, “You’ll be fine, Lex. Just let loose and have a little fun, okay?” she gave the younger girl a pointed stare.

Lexa groaned slightly, “Fine. I’m doing this for you though.”

Anya chuckled quietly before pushing her sister out the door.

Clarke was leaning against the front fender of her car, a carefree smile crossing her face as Lexa walked out. She had on a pair of ripped jeans with black combat boots and a camo jacket. Her blonde hair was delicately waved as it cascaded over her shoulders. She pushed herself off her car and walked over to Lexa before pulling her into a hug.

Lexa stiffened briefly, she couldn’t remember the last time she had been hugged by someone who wasn’t Anya, before she melted into the embrace and wrapped her arms around Clarke.

When they pulled apart- if it was even possible- Clarke was smiling even more brightly, “You look really nice,” she tugged a little at Lexa’s jacket, “I’m loving the leather jacket. It suites you.”

Lexa could feel the blush creeping into her features, “Thank you. It’s actually Anya’s. She just lets me wear it all the time.”

“Well, Anya sure has some style then,” Clarke said before jerking her thumb over her shoulder, “Come on, we should get going.”

The ride in the car was mostly filled with Clarke singing loudly to whatever rap or pop song that was blaring on the radio and Lexa could help but let herself be pulled into the brightness that was Clarke Griffin. Everything about her was infectious. She was just so bright and positive and by the end of the car ride, Lexa found herself quietly singing along with Clarke.

After about a fifteen minute drive they parked outside of an adorable town house. Lexa got out of the car and hesitantly followed Clarke, who immediately tangled her fingers with Lexa’s.

“So my friends can get a little crazy and over bearing and loud… so loud,” she grumbled, “They mean well, they are just… _over protective_ I suppose.”

Lexa squeezed Clarke’s hand, “I’m sure they’re wonderful.” This earned Lexa a smile and she could feel her heart melt just a little bit more for Clarke.

When they approached the door Lexa could hear loud music blaring inside and nervousness washed over her. Clarke tightened her grip on Lexa’s hand as she knocked on the door and the brunette had never been more grateful for the steady warmth radiating from Clarke’s hand.

“About time, Griffin,” an energetic brunette giggled as she ripped the door open. She had a red solo cup in her hand and was flushed red, clearly having had a few too many drinks.

“Hey, O,” Clarke smiled as she pulled the host into a one armed embrace. When she pulled back she motioned to Lexa, “This is Lexa. She’s the one I’ve told you about.”

That made Lexa’s heart skip a beat. Clarke had actually told her friends about her?

She didn’t have a chance to think on it much further before the girl- O as Clarke had called her- pulled her into a hug, “I’m Octavia. But everyone calls me O.”

She smiled at Lexa before grabbing Clarke’s hand and pulling her inside, which effectively brought Lexa into the house.

By the look of things the party was already in full swing. There were people everywhere in a multitude of states, varying from drunkenly dancing around on the coffee table to chatting animatedly amongst themselves.

Octavia pulled them along and Clarke greeted about ninety percent of the people she saw. Everyone brightened when they saw her, either giving her hugs or excited waves. Clearly, Clarke was loved among her group of friends.

The blonde did her best to introduce Lexa as they went, but Octavia was pulling them along so fast, she wasn’t sure she could even remember half the people she met. They burst into the kitchen and a loud screech erupted from a girl sitting on the countertop. She jumped off and raced towards Clarke, well raced as best she could with her leg brace, “Clarke Griffin you are late!”

She pulled the blonde into a hug and twirled her around before pulling her further into the kitchen, leaving Lexa to stand awkwardly near the counter.

She felt so out of place here. Clarke knew everyone. The blonde was so charismatic and spirited, clearly loved by everyone, and Lexa… well Lexa was just the exact opposite. She had kept to herself for her entire life and she could count the number of friends she had on one hand. Seeing Clarke so social made her feel extremely inadequate. How could someone so bright even give someone like Lexa even a second glance? She was so out of her element.

But then Clarke turned around from where the girl with the brace had pulled her and motioned Lexa over, “Lexa, come over here! I want to introduce you to some people.”

The brunette swallowed nervously before making her way over. She met Bellamy, Raven, Jasper, and Monty. Harper, Fox, Sterling, Miller, and so many others that Lexa was just glad she could remember those few.

But before long Clarke pulled her into a slightly quieter corner, “Hey, you doing alright?” Lexa nodded tersely. Clarke smiled slightly, “If you aren’t feeling comfortable please tell me and we can totally go somewhere else.”

Lexa shook her head, “No this is fine, Clarke. You seem very happy here.”

“Yea, but-” Before she could finish her sentence Raven came stomping over and thrust a drink into both of their hands.

“It’s no fun without a drink,” she yelled over the noise of the music. Clarke laughed before clinking her cup against Raven’s and taking a solid pull from the cup. When she resurfaced, her face pulled into a grimace, “Jesus, what did you put in this Ray?”

The brunette cackled, before turning and yelling over her shoulder, “A lot of tequila.”

Clarke shrugged and took another drink before grimacing again, “This is awful.”

Lexa smiled softly, she wasn’t much of a drinker but perhaps she would let herself have one or two drinks. She took a cautious sip of her drink. She immediately wanted to spit it back into the cup… maybe she wouldn’t drink tonight.

Clarke laughed at her facial expression before tugging on her hand and pulling her back into the family room where the party was at.

Monty and Jasper were at their side in an instant and pulled the both of them towards a table that had beer bong set up on it, “You guys game?” Clarke nodded before looking over at Lexa who adamantly shook her head. Clarke laughed again and was about to insist when Octavia sidled over and started talking to Lexa. Clarke narrowed her eyes at her friend slightly before asking Bellamy to be her partner.

“So, Lexa. How do you like the party so far?” Octavia asked.

“Well,” she began, “I’ve never really been to a party before so this is definitely an experience.”

Octavia looked shocked at her words, but the expression faded quickly, “Well, I hope you have a good time at your first party. Oh and we have a ton of alcohol so please drink as much as you want.”

Lexa was about to tell Octavia that she wasn’t planning on drinking a lot when a chorus of cheers tore her focus away from Octavia. Clarke was yelling loudly and high-fiving Bellamy, whose hair was a wild mess. Apparently, he had just won the game for them.

And it went on like this for a while. A few of Clarke’s friends would casually make their way over to her and chat with her for a bit while Clarke played an assortment of games. When one game ended Clarke would try to convince her to play in the next, but Lexa would decline because in all honesty she was far more content to just watch Clarke.

The subtle way she would glance over Bellamy’s shoulder to see his cards when they pulled out Uno. Or how she would jump around in anticipation as her turn neared for flip cup. Or the way she gladly tipped her head back to drain the last bit of drink from the middle cup when she lost rage cage. The way her lips quirked slightly whenever she was listening to some ridiculous story that Jasper was telling. But most importantly how her eyes just seemed to light up whenever she looked over at Lexa.

And nothing, absolutely nothing, could have prepared Lexa for how her heart leapt out of her chest whenever she spotted the blonde looking at her.

It was an intoxicating feeling and Lexa never wanted to let that feeling go.

* * *

It was just after one when Clarke stumbled back to Lexa, clearly very drunk.

“Okay,” she waved her hand at Lexa, “I think it’s time we went home,” she sighed heavily before plopping her forehead on Lexa’s shoulder.

The brunette couldn’t help but chuckle at how adorable a drunk Clarke was.

They made their way around and said their goodbyes and thanks to Octavia and Raven for having them over before Lexa practically carried Clarke to the car and strapped her in.

The car ride was more of Clarke singing, this time a lot sloppier, and Lexa simply smiling at how beautiful Clarke was.

When they finally made it up to the stairs, Clarke bolted into the apartment and started pulling box after box of food out of her pantry, “You want anything to eat?” she hiccupped.

Lexa shook her head, “No. No, thanks I’m good.”

Clarke frowned slightly, “You’re laughing at me aren’t you.”

That only made Lexa actually laugh, “No, I’m not laughing-”

Suddenly, the inside filling of an Oreo was sliding down her forehead.

“Did you just throw Oreo filling at me?” She asked in mock anger.

Clarke stuck her tongue out at her.

Lexa smiled, “You are like a child when you drink, Clarke.”

The blonde scoffed, “I am not like a child.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

Lexa quirked her brow, “Oh, really?”

Clarke huffed before an impish smile cracked across her lips, “I’ll show you childish.”

She launched herself at Lexa, tackling the girl in her stomach. Completely caught off guard Lexa stumbled backwards. The back of her legs hit the back rest of Clarke’s couch and she toppled over, dragging a hysterical Clarke with her.

They landed in a heap. Both were laughing so hard that neither noticed just how close they had gotten. But when Lexa finally calmed enough, her heart launched itself into her throat.

Clarke was straddling her. Her forearms were on either side of Lexa’s head and she was leaning in so close that Lexa could count the number of tiny freckles that Clarke had spread across her face.

She swallowed thickly, as a tingled started to brew dangerously in her stomach, and gazed deeply into the blue eyes that had always trapped her attention. The blonde leaned in even more. Their nose’s touched and Lexa watched as the blue- which had rapidly become her favorite color- faded from view. Her body was practically aflame. Her mind short circuiting because holy shit, Clarke was going to kiss her.

Her own eyes began to slip closed, when she felt Clarke’s arms give out and suddenly the side of her face smacked into Lexa’s nose, blonde hair fanning everywhere. She had to blink away a few strands of hair before she could see clearly.

“Clarke?” she whispered. But the blonde didn’t respond save for the most petite snore Lexa had ever heard.

She had passed out. She had actually passed out on top of Lexa. The brunette couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Of course Clarke had passed out. Sighing she rolled Clarke off of her and as carefully as she could, she picked Clarke up and brought her to her bedroom. They passed a large metal door on the way and Lexa idly wondered what was hidden behind such a huge door.

She had just tucked Clarke in and was about to leave when a light hand wrapped itself around her wrist.

Sleepy blue eyes were looking up at her, “Would you… would you stay?”

The vulnerability in the blonde’s voice almost killed Lexa and she nodded her head.

She shambled to the other side of the bed and carefully got underneath the covers.

Clarke shuffled closer and wrapped her arms around Lexa’s waist, pulling the brunette closer.

Gently, she leaned her forehead into Lexa’s. Her blue eyes bore into green and the brunette couldn’t help but feel that Clarke could read her every thought. She could read her every emotion. She knew everything about Lexa. And she felt so vulnerable. So bare. But it felt so good. It felt so good to be held. To be near someone. To be touched by someone. To be _needed_ by someone. To _need_ someone. And Lexa never wanted it to end. She never wanted this feeling to fade. She couldn’t help but thank whoever was out there that they had decided Lexa’s fate was to meet this beautiful, caring, and amazing woman.  

Clarke’s nose nudged against her own, pulling the brunette from her thoughts. She spoke so softly that Lexa almost missed her words, “I really, really like you, Lexa Woods.”

The brunette gulped. Deep in the back of her mind a tiny voice was telling her that she didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve Clarke, but Anya’s words fluttered to the forefront of her mind and before the rest of her could catch up, she was whispering back, “I really, really like you, Clarke Griffin.”

And in this moment she couldn’t help but think that, indeed, serendipity was her favorite word.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Lexa has finally started to realize the extent of her feelings for Clarke. *Squeals excitedly*  
> Still no kiss though, these two need to get it together.  
> Thank you to everyone who commented on the last chapter! I really appreciate it and I love hearing from you guys!  
> Let me know what you thought of this chapter. I had fun writing it and I'm really excited for chapters that are coming up.  
> Thanks again for reading!


	9. A Little Retail Therapy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there are typos in this... I'm super tired and midterms have been hell, but I wanted to update after seriously ten thousand years.

** Clarke: **

The shrill chirping of her phone woke Clarke with a start.

“Fuck,” she grumbled, rubbing her face with slightly sticky hands. Her head was absolutely pounding- like jack hammers happily chipping away at her skull pounding- and the annoying ring tone she had set for whenever her mother called was not helping what-so-ever.

Flinging her arm out onto her nightstand to blindly find her phone; she managed to grab it and answer the call before it went to voicemail, “Mom? What time is it?” she mumbled.

“Clarke? Are you hung over? It’s nearly two in the afternoon,” her mother complained, a little too loudly causing Clarke to flinch at her words. “I hope you are remembering we are having your father’s recognition ceremony tonight and I am fully expecting you _and your date_ ,” she added slyly, “to be here. On. Time.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. She had totally forgotten all about that. And she had neither a dress nor a date.

“Fuck,” she whispered, ignoring her mother’s angry comment on her language being inappropriate, “Yea. I’ll be there don’t worry.”

Her mom sighed, “Just wear something nice, please. This is a really big deal for your father, alright?”

Clarke took a deep breath. Of course she knew this was a big deal. She talked to her father almost every day and he had been mentioning this day for a long time. He was excited about it. Who wouldn’t be? NASA was honoring him with Career Service Recognition Award. Jake Griffin had been working for NASA for 25 years and they wanted to celebrate all of his hard work. So yea it was a pretty big deal, and of course, she would be there. She would never miss it.

“Mom. I’ll be there. Don’t worry.”

Abby gave a harrumph before she ended the call. Groaning again, Clarke rubbed her face and practically rolled out of bed before crossing the hall and into the bathroom.

She brushed her teeth thoroughly- her mouth tasted like a mixture of tequila and Oreos- and then jumped into the shower.

She practically moaned. God, she loved showers. She took her time washing her hair and shaving her legs until they were silky smooth, before she reluctantly left the warmth that the water provided. Quickly, she dried off and dropped her towel to the floor. Flipping, her still wet hair back, she headed to her room.

She was just pushing through her door when she spotted Lexa placing a tray of food down on the bed. Clarke stopped dead in her tracks.

 Fuck.

Her talk with her mom about her dad’s award ceremony completely made her forget about last night. But how could she forget? How could she forget how gorgeous Lexa looked? How could she forget how she felt like she had been engulfed in flames when they touched? How could she forget the way Lexa looked at her when she confessed her feelings? How could she forget?

She could feel her face heating up. She could feel her embarrassment already forming.

Lexa turned at the sound of the door opening, a slight smile on her lips, before her mouth fell open and the glass of orange juice she had in her hand went crashing to the floor.

Her eyes scanned Clarke’s body before they stopped on her neck and followed the drops of water that were scattered across her chest. She blinked once, twice, and then her face went bright red.

“Shit,” she gasped, clapping her hand over her eyes, “I’m so sorry Clarke,” she yelped, frantically adding, “I had no idea you would be getting out of the shower.”

The blonde was frozen for a moment before she jolted into action, “Don’t move, Lexa. I don’t want you to step on any glass. I’m just going to get dressed really quick and then I’ll clean this up.”

Lexa didn’t respond, but her rapidly shaking head told Clarke she had no intentions of moving.

Clarke quickly got dressed and then went over to Lexa who still had her hand across her face. Gently, she reached out and peeled her hand away.

“I’m dressed. You can look now.”

When Clarke finally managed to get Lexa’s hand away, the brunette’s eyes were still closed.

Careful of the glass, Clarke stepped closer and grasped Lexa’s face between her hands. Standing on her tiptoes she reached up and placed a soft kiss on Lexa’s cheek, “You can open your eyes, Lexa.”

The brunette swallowed thickly and nodded her head, but it was a couple seconds before her lids slowly fluttered open and her green gaze settled on Clarke.

She motioned behind her, “I-I made breakfast,” she said, her voice cracking slightly.

“Thank you,” Clarke whispered, her thumbs stroking gentle arcs across Lexa’s cheeks. The words were loaded. A thanks for far more than just breakfast. A thanks for staying with her last night. And Clarke hoped that Lexa would understand. 

Lexa nodded minutely, her eyes dropping down to Clarke’s lips. She took a stuttering breath, her tongue swiping over her lips. Her gaze flicked back up to Clarke’s eyes, who smiled slightly at her and gave one gentle nod. Lexa blinked slowly and leaned in faintly, her hands sliding up Clarke’s arms to softly grasp her wrists. Clarke could feel herself moving closer, closer to the warmth that radiated from Lexa, closer to the comfort that she felt whenever she was around the brunette. Her eyes flickered closed. Lexa’s warm breath ghosted across her lips and she unconsciously licked them. Their noses were just barely brushing when Clarke’s phone went off again.

The two froze. Clarke was more than happy to just ignore the tone, but then Lexa was leaning back.

FUCK!

God damn it! Why? Why did her phone have to ring right then?

Lexa cleared her throat, “You should probably answer that.”

Clarke merely nodded and picked up her phone, “Hello?” she barked.

“Jeez, calm down Kujo, I was just seeing if you, Ray, and I were still on for dress shopping for your Dad’s ceremony thingy tonight.”

Clarke blinked, a sudden idea hitting her, “Hold on a sec, O.”

She brought the phone down to her shoulder and looked at Lexa, who was staring at her, eyes a darkened shade of green, “What are you doing tonight?”

“Nothing. Why?”

Clarke swallowed, her throat suddenly very dry, “Would you like to be my date tonight to my dad’s award ceremony?” she gasped out.

Lexa blinked at her, but then a small smile creeped up on her lips, “I would love to.”

Clarke beamed, “Perfect.”

She put the phone back up to her ear, “We will be there, O.” She hung up before she could hear Octavia asking, “We?”

* * *

 

 Clarke pulled the car up to the curb and shifted into park. She could see Octavia and Raven already standing outside of Bloomingdales. A flash of memories rushed over her.

“This is where we first met,” she commented, looking over at Lexa who smiled back at her.

“A fortunate stroke of serendipity,” she said back.

The blonde smiled and jumped out of the car, trying her best to calm the harsh beat of her heart against her ribcage. Lexa was only a few steps behind her and when she stepped beside Clarke she promptly intertwined their fingers with a slight blush of her cheeks.

Raven and Octavia greeted them with knowing smiles and a chorus of “awws” before complaining about being cold and dragging them both into the store.

After about twenty minutes of dress shopping, in which Octavia and Clarke had both been successful in finding dresses (Clarke refusing to let Lexa see her dress) they found themselves in front of the giant runway style mirror, waiting for Lexa and Raven to come out with the next dress.

“Raven. Please. Please come out. We need to see the dress.”

“No. I refuse to be seen in this… this thing,” she said in disgust.

Octavia laughed, “I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

Raven opened the door, clad in a giant frilly hot pink dress, “Not that bad?” she asked sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest. “I look like a fucking flamingo.”

Clarke clasped her hand over her mouth to stifle her laugh.

Octavia on the other hand was not so tactile, bursting out in laughter, “You look like Barney!”

“At least you look like a cute flamingo…” Clarke offered, which only earned her a glare and the middle finger.

“I’m changing,” Raven grunted as she turned around and forced her way back into her dressing room.

“Try the red one on,” Octavia commented, looking down at her phone.

“How about you, Lexa?” Clarke asked, “You find anything you like?”

There was a quiet hum and Lexa opened her door. She stepped out in an all-black dress that had a large slit that showed off a flawlessly toned, tan leg that just seemed to flow from under the dress, and had an intricate pattern crisscrossing across her back. Brunette locked rolled in gentle waves down her back and the black of the dress only made her green eyes even more ethereal.  

Clarke’s jaw dropped. _Holy fucking shit_. She immediately felt her face heat up and an instant tingling sensation erupted through her body.

“Damn, Lexa. You look fucking hot,” Octavia hooted, before wolf whistling, which only made Lexa blush.

“You don’t think it’s too much?”

Clarke gaped for a few more seconds before she finally found her words, “N-no. Not… not at all.”

Octavia looked over at the blonde and smirked, “I think you broke Clarke, Lexa.”

Clarke blindly slapped Octavia’s shoulder, but she couldn’t keep her eyes of Lexa. She was absolutely breath taking. The artist in her was absolutely screaming at her to draw Lexa because never in her life had she seen something so beautiful.

“Okay,” Lexa whispered, her eyes locked on Clarke, her cheeks dusting a light shade of pink, before she turned and went back into her dressing room.

A few minutes later she came back out and Clarke still felt like a floundering fish. The image of Lexa was singed in the forefront of her mind and she was having a hard time concentrating. But when Lexa leaned in close and whispered something in her ear, Clarke shook herself out of her stupor.

“I’m sorry, Lexa, I missed that.”

The brunette frowned slightly before whispering even quieter than before, “I-I… I can’t afford this dress… right now.”

Clarke looked over at her and placed a gentle hand on Lexa’s leg, “I can buy it.”

Lexa looked like she was about to protest, but Clarke cut her off, “Don’t think of it as a pity buy. Think of it as a gift.”

Lexa frowned once again, but she nodded none-the-less.

Just then Raven burst out of her changing room, “This is it. This is the one,” she squealed as she came out in a mid-thigh crimson dress that dipped low in the back.

“Ow, ow,” Octavia hooted, “Looking hot, Reyes.”

Raven chuckled, “Thank you, thank you. I know, I know. I enjoy your praise.”

Clarke laughed, “Alright, now that Raven has finally decided on a dress,” she gave the mechanic a pointed stare, “we can finally go get ready. We’ve got about two hours before we have to be at the banquet hall.”

* * *

 

They all drove back to Clarke’s place. Octavia and Raven took over the bathroom so that they could do their hair and makeup, Clarke took the master bath, and Lexa simply just went and got changed in her dress. She was waiting out in the family room, staring out of the window, when Clarke was finally ready.

She cleared her throat and Lexa turned to look at her. A huge smile crossed her face as she stood and took a few steps closer to Clarke, “You look absolutely stunning, Clarke,” she murmured, her eyes roaming over Clarke’s body, taking in the flowing navy dress.

The blonde blushed, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, “Thank you, Lexa.”

They stood for a few minutes, simply staring at each other, when Octavia cleared her throat behind them, “Come on love birds, your longing stares into each other’s eyes is making me sick. It’s too sweet.”

Lexa let out a breathy laugh, glancing back at Octavia, and extending her hand to Clarke, wiggling her fingers slightly, “Shall we?”          

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter... because this is like the last fluffy one before all angsty hell breaks loose! 
> 
> Thanks for reading and please leave comments about what you liked, disliked, etc. I love hearing from you guys!

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me at lifeandlemons.tumblr.com   
> ask away about the fic


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